When I decided to do 'The Celebrity Apprentice,' there was absolutely no question that I would play the game for GMHC.
Shortly after college, I was working in New York City at 'Rolling Stone' magazine.
I've played every comedy club and every theatre across the country for the last 25 years and seen a lot of audience members from different ethnic persuasions.
I lasted seven years as a journalist, and I've been doing comedy for twenty years.
I kind of knew inside that I wanted to try comedy, but it was a mystery. How do you start? So when I hit 30 and I had done everything I wanted to do in journalism, so I went to a comedy class. I figured I'd learn how to do five minutes and see how it feels.
When doing comedy, I do what makes me laugh. The first person I learned from said I should talk about things I am passionate about - that I love or hate - because the audience likes to see passion. The stuff I rant and rave about stems from a place that really pisses me off.
I do a big roast of Trump during my set now - which I clearly expanded on - because there's so much to make fun of him about now.
I'm not a political comic at all, so it would be weird if I just turned into a preachy, sort-of political commentator.
I'm always proud of what I've done and what I continue to do.
If Flavor Flav was any smaller and darker, Brad and Angelina would try to adopt him.
I'm not a private person. I like hanging out and talking to fans. But my life isn't so interesting that you want to see the inside of it.
I remember, after the Pamela Anderson roast, being told, 'You're sold out - you can add two more shows.'
I keep getting asked out by really young, good looking boys and really ugly lesbians. So, even if I wanted to jump onto the tuna boat, I wouldn't because I'm not getting high-class babes that I should get at this level of my career. And I always know the ugly ones are serious and that the good-looking ones are goofing on me.
I've gone through literally over 30 years of struggle with weight and food and body image... and I'm like, 'Wait a minute.'
This thing happened where I noticed anytime I got together with four friends or more, the conversation goes to food.
I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight.
I order food like a normal human being. If I'm out to lunch, I'm going to order three courses like everybody else. I'm not going to feel like some kind of freak.
When you're dealing with a sick person, you're not important at all. You're just a nobody.
I'm not looking for 'outer esteem' anymore, what they call 'other esteem.' I'm looking for self-esteem. And people think that self-esteem is built with accomplishments. And, 'Hey, look what I did in my life.'
I thought I had to work at someplace everybody's heard of. It was never, 'I'm interested in such and such. I want to work in such and such magazine.' It was like, 'Oh, my G-d, I really need to work for somebody so people will think I'm OK.' So I got a job at 'Popular Mechanics'.
