To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.
We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.
I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.
They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
Patriarchy is a bully notion, which if you will notice never attacks a nation that can defend itself. Zionism is patriarchal and sets Judaism on its head.
I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.
Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
I do kabbalistic meditation. It's not unlike time travel; it can change the past and not just the future. You can look at what was lost and go beyond the grief of what was lost.
As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews.
I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
You know when you first get rich, and you, like, just buy everything that you see? I did that for several years. And I have sheds full of things, maybe sometimes nine copies of the same thing.
I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.'
A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
I'm very introspective, and I mostly don't talk to people. I get into a real quiet, meditative place.
