Normally during the week between Christmas and New Year I'm slumped in a chair in Birmingham, eating, farting and spouting total nonsense.
When I started stand-up, it was really just to have a go at alpha males essentially, there was no plan and there never has been really.
I always loved 'The Weakest Link' and how brutal Anne Robinson was on it.
I was quite a fat lad.
I love 'Pointless.'
The Time It Takes' is one of the most brilliantly daft shows I've ever been involved in - and that's saying something.
I get frustrated with companies that present themselves as your mates. They use emojis in the messages they send you, and they're very casual with their back-and-forth. That doesn't work if they've rinsed you of all your money.
I don't want someone to be nice and friendly while telling me my bill's gone up by 10 per cent because they've just decided that.
I'm so British and polite that creating a scene or being confrontational is so not my vibe.
It's a bit embarrassing for a company to be exposed for wrongdoing, but it's really embarrassing if it's done by making them the butt of a joke.
Alan Carr is an out and proud gay man but there isn't a famous bisexual equivalent - it's a lot rarer.
I originally came out as gay when I was a teenager, then backtracked when I thought I had closed off the market a bit!
My parents have always been very supportive and it hasn't been an issue. Mum worried I might get more problems in life because of my bisexuality but I think people are more liberal now.
I sleep all the time! I often leave an event early because I want to have a snooze.
I'm a qualified swimming instructor.
Even though I now eat meat, I have halloumi every day - even at breakfast.
I never wanted to be famous, I just wanted to be creative for my job, I suppose, and perform.
I like to show off. But I'm not fussed about fame particularly, I don't go to things and I don't go to celeb events or whatever, that's not really my vibe.
I think the city isn't talked about enough, there are not enough people championing Birmingham. When I was at university in Manchester I wasn't a fan, I was a bit down on my home city. But as I've got older I love living here. It's easy to get around the country to gigs, and it's a calming, friendly city.
My philosophy is, if I couldn't say it in front of my grandmother, I probably shouldn't say it.
