110 Step Brothers Quotes (2026) #2

Step Brothers

Brennan Huff: I remember my first beer.
Dale Doback: That's so funny the first time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.

Step Brothers

Dale Doback: [as they are called back into the office for their first interview] We're here to fuck shit up!

Step Brothers

Nancy Huff: You yelled "rape" at the top of your lungs.
Brennan Huff: Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Lets get it on."
Dale Doback: That was about the fighting. I am so not a raper!
Brennan Huff: Look, I didn't touch

your drum set, okay?
Dale Doback: I witnessed with my eyes your testicles touching my drum set.

Step Brothers

Dale Doback: [while Brennan is singing] Boats and hoes!

Step Brothers

Brennan Huff: Your drumset's a whore! I tea bagged your drumset!
Dale Doback: My drumset's a guy so it makes you gay, you fucker!

Step Brothers

Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!

Step Brothers

Dale Doback: Boats and hoes!

Step Brothers

Nancy Huff: [Brennan and Dale are sleeping, Nancy walks in to wake them up] Guys. Guys. Guys!
Brennan Huff: [Both guys wake up and quote last line from their dreams] I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy.
Dale Doback: The clown has no penis.
Nancy Huff: What kind of dreams are you guys having? Hey, it's 12:30. Brennan,

your brother's coming today, so you might want to get up.
Brennan Huff: Today?
Nancy Huff: Yep.
Brennan Huff: Shit.
Dale Doback: What's your problem?
Brennan Huff: My little brother is even a bigger asshole than you are.

Step Brothers

Sporting Goods Manager: [after Dale finishes his very prolonged fart] Was that a fart?
Dale Doback: I don't know.
Sporting Goods Manager: I can taste it. On my tongue.
Dale Doback: Okay, I'll be honest with you. I did fart.
Sporting Goods Manager: Is that onion? Onion and... Onion and

ketchup.
Sporting Goods Manager: It stinks. And this is a small room.
Brennan Huff: Shit.
Sporting Goods Manager: Okay. Now the tuxedos seem kind of fucked up.

Step Brothers

Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.
Dale Doback: Where are we moving?
Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?
Dr. Robert Doback: Nancy and I are retiring and sailing around the world on my boat. We are living the dream.
Dale Doback: Well what about us?

Nancy Huff: I- I'm sorry. Robert... we thought that you should take responsibility for your own lives.
Dr. Robert Doback: And this is the exciting part. We're gonna put enough money in your accounts for a security deposit on an apartment.
Dale Doback: What's this all about?
Nancy Huff: Um, more than just

money. We're gonna get you another kind of support as well.
Dr. Robert Doback: You're both gonna see therapists. Nancy thinks it'll help. And guys, that's non-negotiable.
Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, we have to go to therapy?
[Robert nods]
Brennan Huff: WHAT THE FUCK

HAPPENED?

Step Brothers

Brennan Huff: You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
Dale Doback: Yeah, I got 'em from the 70's, 80's and 90's. It's like masturbating in a time machine.

Step Brothers

Alice: I wanna roll you up in a little ball and shove you up my vagina... You could just live there, it's warm and it's cozy... Oh I'd just walk around with you in there and just knowing, whenever I feel a little tickle or scratch it's your hair on my vagina!

Step Brothers

Denise: So, I thought we'd begin talking about your parents' divorce.
Brennan Huff: Okay.
Denise: How old were you when they got divorced?
Brennan Huff: Fifteen.
Denise: That's a hard age.
Brennan Huff: Yes. Yeah.
Denise: Do you want to

talk about some of those feelings?
Brennan Huff: I love you.
Denise: Obviously... you don't know me.
Brennan Huff: I love you so much.
Denise: Thank you, and I will take that as a feeling that you have of... comfortability with me.
Brennan Huff: It's more than comfortability. I

mean, I fuckin' love you.
Denise: Okay, I... think...
Brennan Huff: I'm just thinking about our life together. I feel like I'm walking on a cloud. My penis is tingling right now.
Denise: That is so... off-putting.
Brennan Huff: You're not feeling this?
Denise: In no way, shape,

or form do I feel any feelings of intimacy towards you in any way whatsoever.

Step Brothers

Alice: Stay golden, Ponyboy.

Step Brothers

Dale Doback: Brennan you're alive! Oh my God!
Brennan Huff: I know. I'm alive.
Dale Doback: You were dead. I saw you die.
Brennan Huff: I was faking. I used ninja focus to slow my heart rate down.

Step Brothers

Dale Doback: The only reason you're living here is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.

Step Brothers

Derek: I have to sell or lease at last 80 helicopters to make my nut. And you... You mess with my nut, Brennan, Randy here is gonna eat your dick.
Randy: Like Kobayashi.
Randy: [makes eating noise]
Derek: I've seen him do it.
Brennan Huff: You've actually seen him eating a man's penis?

Derek: It was in international waters, so they couldn't prosecute him. But I saw it.