Brennan Quotes

Dr. Robert Doback: You jagaloons! You're failures! FAILURES!
Brennan Huff: Hey, you're embarrassing yourself, you geriatric fuck!
Nancy Huff: Brennan.
Brennan Huff: Two things: You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother. She's a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check

for $10,000.
Nancy Huff: Oh, stop it! Stop it right...
Brennan Huff: Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your ass...
Nancy Huff: Brennan!
Brennan Huff: ...you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces shit!

[Dale and Brennan are in beds next to each other]
Dale Doback: [whispering] Hey, you awake?
Brennan Huff: [also whispering] Yeah.
Dale Doback: I just want you to know I hate you. And so does my dad.
Brennan Huff: Well that's fine. Cause guess what? I hate you too. And this house sucks ass.

Dale Doback: Well the only reason you're living here, is because me and my dad decided that your mom was really hot, and maybe we should just both bang her, and we'll put up with the retard in the meantime.
Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?
Dale Doback: You.
Brennan Huff: [raising his voice] Hey ya'll don't say

that!
Dale Doback: Shut up! You'll wake up my dad and get me grounded.
Brennan Huff: Just shut up!
Dale Doback: You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.
Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck!
Dale Doback: [Dale turns

his face to Brennan] Oh yeah?
Brennan Huff: [Brennan turns his face to Dale] Yeah.
Dale Doback: I'm a curly-headed fuck?
Brennan Huff: Yeah. You better not go to sleep, cause as soon as your eyes shut I'm gonna punch you square in the face.
Dale Doback: I hope you stay still when you sleep, cause I'm

gonna put a rat trap between your legs.
Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase, and fill it full of bars of soap, and beat the shit out of you.
[Dale turns away from Brennan]
Dale Doback: I want you out of my fucking house!
Brennan Huff: No way Kimosabe. This is my house now.

Dale Doback: Hey. Are you awake?
Brennan Huff: Yeah.
Dale Doback: I can't believe we actually have to move out of this house.
Brennan Huff: I know. I feel bad.
Dale Doback: Hey, you know, we don't have to whisper anymore. Mom and Dad aren't here.
Brennan Huff:

Yeah, but can we keep doing it, though? It helps me pretend that they are.
Dale Doback: You must feel just terrible. I mean, I know I feel bad.
Brennan Huff: Yeah.
Dale Doback: But I can't imagine how you feel after my dad looked right at you and said it's all your fault that they broke up.
Brennan

Huff: That's funny, because my mom said: "If that curly-headed fuck Dale wasn't here everything would be perfect."
Dale Doback: You take that back.
Brennan Huff: No way. It's your fault.
Dale Doback: You know what your problem is? You live in a fantasy land. You refuse to get a joband you don't know what it's like to

work for something.
Brennan Huff: You don't take responsibility for your actions. This is all your fault!
Dale Doback: Well, you're a mama's boy who's too chicken to sing in public!
Dale Doback: [Brennan leaves the bedroom angrily] Yeah, that's right. Run away, little boy, because you know it's true. Just avoid everything.

What are you doing?
[Brennen is heard in the next room banging on the drums and chanting]
Brennan Huff: Dale broke up Mom and Dad
Dale Doback: Motherfucker!
[Dale rushes into his office]
Brennan Huff: Dale broke up Mom and Dad Dale broke up Mom and Dad
[Dale picks up a cymbal and hits Brennan over the head

with it. Brennan falls]
Dale Doback: Brennan! Get up, Brennan, I know you're faking. Get up! Get up! Brennan?

Derek: [Derek suddenly climbs up Brennan's treehouse with a beer] What's up, faggots?
[to Brennan]
Derek: What's up man? What? You're not gonna come down and say hi to me? What's with that, dipshit? Huh?
Brennan Huff: [faintly] Hi, Derek.
Derek: Whoa, calm down, man. I'm just joking. You guys, I really

like your guys' setup up here...
Dale Doback: What is your problem, man?
Derek: My problem? I don't know! I don't have a problem, Dale. Actually, I have the opposite of a problem: I made over 550 K last year!
[smirks]
Derek: How much did you make?
Dale Doback: [shrugs] It's not about money...

Derek: No, it's not about money. Well, for me, it's a little bit about money...
[pause]
Derek: And I made that much money last year. I am the VP of the biggest executive-helicopter-leasing company on the Western Seaboard. Okay? I haven't had a carb since 2004. Check these out!
[Derek lifts up his shirt and shows Dale and Brennan his chest

abs]
Derek: See these? See these boys? This is what I live with! Every day I lather this up with Kiehl's in the shower. You wanna touch this shit? You wanna touch these bad boys? Sorry, not gonna happen!