I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed.
I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
Comedy's really subjective, you know.
When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that.
I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage.
To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it?
I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.
I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really.
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand.
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much time with people.
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?
