I've been studying Israeli army martial arts. I now know 16 ways to kick a Palestinian woman in the back.
Consumer culture needs us to be impulsive, while our political culture fears that we will ever develop discipline.
I think we live in a country that sometimes forgets how effective the rule of law is, perhaps because our governments have often found it inconvenient.
I don't think I'm angry. I'm horrified - powered by horror.
I have no real enemies in comedy, but there are a couple of people who I'd laugh about if I heard that their legs had fallen off.
I loved the idea of Bowie as an artist, with his Burroughsian cut-up technique, creating these undecipherable, abstract songs, where we all projected our own meanings onto his jarring word choices and unexpected chord changes.
Comedians shame people.
I went through a brief phase years ago of getting Men's Health then I realised there are actually only three ways to do a sit-up and they're just repackaging it endlessly.
I read tons of comic books. My favourite is Grant Morrison, a Scottish comic writer.
I absolutely loathe adverts. I won't go into the cinema until 20 minutes after the film is due to start because there are so many.
The Internet shows me how limited my interests are - there's everything out there and I'm still looking at what the weather's going to be like in Scotland.
Comedy is a terrible way to meet women. It's certainly a way to start talking to them, but they always have preconceptions about you.
I've never felt any sense of kinship with other comedians; they've always seemed too needy.
I love the BBC and I think it's a really important thing.
The average British person would hear me doing my joke about Rebecca Adlington and realise there's no malice in it. It was an off-the-cuff ad lib.
British people have a really sophisticated sense of humour, because we're exposed to much more than Europeans and Americans, not least in our literary heritage.
I'm not cynical at all.
That's what I do in my stand-up. I work hard and hone the material and after a while audiences expect what I do to be good.
I think the most important things my book does is to give readers the address of George Monbiot's website and how to get hold of comic books by Grant Morrison.
How hard is it to get female panellists?
