You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.
The devil made me do it.
My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.
If I could marry my motorcycle, I'd roll her right up to the altar.
Violence is a tool of the ignorant.
Funny is an attitude.
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.
It's later than it's ever been.
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.
I have the bug again. I'm expecting the response to seeing the show again on Nick to be very good, and this will set the groundwork for what I want to do.
Everyone in this house and the houses next door knows when I'm in the sauna because I start singing, and I sing the blues when I'm in a really good mood. I have a really loud voice, you know.
My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.
I have my outlet for my humor through my characters, and I also have the intimacy of rapport with my fans that allows me to explain my philosophy and spirituality.
Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.
I've had all that you could ask for. The fat lady has sung, and there's a standing ovation.
After having seen the job done on that first show of mine, I realized that I felt like I wanted to work again for a short while. Two, three years, then stop.
I study a lot of philosophy. I want to be an example of how to enjoy this success, and that's exactly what I've done. I've enjoyed every moment.
