I'm not friends with any of my exes, and I've never understood the appeal.
I'm not trying to be a role model to kids, because I don't have any children, but I do think everyone should have a free spirit.
There was never a moment when I was like, 'I'm going to enter the public conversation on the importance of female nudity.'
I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.
E! has just become a sad, sad place to live. They don't know what they're doing; they have no ideas... everything they do just is a failure.
Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else's words. I could just stand there with a microphone, and nobody would interrupt me. It's the most narcissistic thing you could probably do.
I think if you're gonna do something as silly and lighthearted as entertainment, then why not be interesting when you're doing it?
Once I turned 40, my whole life changed in the most mature - not boring way but much cooler way. I feel much more like an adult.
When you interview celebrities, they're so guarded so many times, they can't reveal anything.
Everywhere I go, people ask me about Jennifer Aniston's wedding. Everywhere I go. I always say to her, I'm like, 'Being friends with you is a burden. You think it's hard to be friends with me?'
I have a huge impact with young girls. Young women. That's my demographic.
I think you do need two terms as a president.
The whole point of remaining on cable is to remain true to who I am. That's a bad, bad girl that got a big job.
I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.
I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me.
I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view.
I don't have a lot of shame. That doesn't mean I can't feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don't have a lot of guilt, no. I've always been this way. I'm missing a chip.
I like to have a home for people just to have a lot of fun.
I'm a standup comedian, so I need people.
I'm not superstitious at all. I'm not a Russian.
