Melvin Udall: How old are you? Because going by your eyes I'd say you were fifty!
Carol Connelly: Ha! Going by your eyes I'd say you were kind. So much for eyes.
Melvin Udall: [dumping Verdell down the garbage chute] This is New York, pal. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere!
Melvin Udall: [after telling Carol that he thinks she's the greatest woman on Earth] Is that something that's bad for you to be around, for you?
Carol Connelly: No.
Carol Connelly: I want your life for five minutes when someone's offering me a free convertible so I can get outta this city!
Simon Bishop: Why are you doing this to me?
Melvin Udall: I work at home, do you realise that?
Simon Bishop: No, I did not know that.
Melvin Udall: Do you like being interrupted when you're nancying around in your little garden?
Simon Bishop: No. Actually sometimes I put the stereo on and...
[face falls]
Carol Connelly: And then they send me to ER where I have to talk to whatever 12 year old they just made a Doctor...
Melvin Udall: No thank you. Shouldn't that be a good thing?
Carol Connelly: My knees go when you turn on the Charm full blast!
[Simon is hospitalized and is given a hand mirror to see his horribly beaten up face]
Simon Bishop: [shocked, almost in tears] Oh my god! Where did I go?
Melvin Udall: That's some face they left on ya!
Simon Bishop: Could you just take it a little easy, Mr Udall?
Melvin Udall: [Typing away] At last she was able to define love... Love was...? Ah!
[Thumping at the door]
Melvin Udall: Oh, now I'm pissed! Now I'm really pissed!
Jackie: [reading from her own note cards one by one] Simon, you're broke the medical bills are sixty one thousand now and the show didn't go well I've spoken to your parents they didn't hang up or anything but they say they'd feel strange if they called you
