As Good as It Gets Quotes

Carol Connelly: [driving to Baltimore] I'm sure, Simon, they did something really "off" in order for you to feel this way. But when it comes to your parents or your kids, something will always be "off" unless you set it straight. And maybe this thing happened to you so you have a chance to do that.
Melvin Udall: [from the backseat] Nonsense! And you want to

know why?
Carol Connelly: Anybody here who's interested in what Melvin has to say, raise their hands.
[Simon puts his hands into his lap, decisively. To their shared surprise, Melvin sits back and does not speak again]
Simon Bishop: Do you want to know what happened with my parents?
Carol Connelly: Yes... no, wait. I'm

gonna pull over and give you my full attention.
[she does so]
Carol Connelly: Now go ahead.
Simon Bishop: When I was a kid, I always painted, and my mother always encouraged it. She was sort of fabulous about it, actually. And she used to... I was too young to think that there was anything wrong with it, and she was very natural, so she used

to... pose nude for me. I always thought - or I assumed - my father knew about it. One day he found us and started screaming. I was trying to defend my mother and make peace in the lamest way. I said "she's not naked, it's art."
[Carol laughs softly]
Simon Bishop: And he started hitting me and... he beat me unconscious. He taught me a lesson he thought I'd never

forget. I mean, he knew what I was even before I did. And the morning I left for college, he walked into my room and held out his hand, and it was filled with money. A big, sweaty wad of money. And he said, "I don't want you to ever come back." I grabbed him and hugged him... and he turned around and walked out. I haven't seen him or talked to him since.
[Carol kisses him on the cheek]

Melvin Udall: Hey, what I did for you... it's working out?
Carol Connelly: ...What you did changed my life.
[offers him the note]
Melvin Udall: No, no thank-you notes.
Carol Connelly: Well, part of what I said in this entire history of my life which you won't read is that somehow you've done more for my

mother, my son and me, than anyone else ever has... And that makes you the most important, surprising, generous person I've ever met and that you be in our daily prayers forever. I also wrote one part... I wrote, "I'm sorry"... I was talking about I was sorry when I got mad at you when you came over and you told my son that he ought to answer back so I wrote that I was sorry for busting you on

that... and I'm sorry for busting in on you that night... when I said I was never... I was sorry and I'm sorry every time your food was cold and that you had to wait two seconds for a coffee filler... and I'm sorry for never spotting, right there at the table in the restaurant, the human being that had it in him to do this thing for us... You know what, I'm just going to start from the

beginning... I have not been able to express my gratefulness to you... even as I look at the word "grateful" now it doesn't begin to tell you what I feel for you...

Carol Connelly: [writing a thank-you note to Melvin, with the aid of a dictionary] This can't be right! "Con-science"?
[breaks down crying]
Beverly Connelly: Carol, what?
Carol Connelly: I don't know... It's very strange not feeling that stupid panic thing inside you all the time. Without that you just start thinking about

yourself, and what does that ever get anybody? Today, on the bus there was this adorable couple and I felt myself giving them a dirty look. I had no idea everything was...
Beverly Connelly: Go ahead.
Carol Connelly: ...Moving in the wrong direction. Away from when I even remembered what it was like to have a man to... anything... hold fucking - sorry

- hands with, for Christ's sake. I was feeling, like, really bad that Dr. Bettes is married. Which is probably why I make poor Spencer hug me more than he wants to. Like the poor kid doesn't have enough problems, he has to make up for his mom not getting any. Oh, boy. Who needs these thoughts?

Simon Bishop: What are those cards?
Jackie: Frank's idea. He thought I should have notes so I did this right: maintained focus, didn't get emotional, and tried not to terrify you.
[Simon's eyes widen]
Jackie: See, he's right. I need the cards.
[takes a card]
Jackie: [reading] Simon, you're broke.

[takes another card]
Jackie: [reading] The medical bills are 61 thousand now. And the show didn't go well.
[takes a third card, which reads "CONVINCE HIM TO ASK HIS PARENTS FOR HELP"]
Jackie: I've spoken to your parents. They didn't hang up or anything. But they said they would feel strange calling you.
Simon

Bishop: I can't call them.
[notices Verdell on the terrace, staring into space]
Simon Bishop: Come here, baby. Come here, baby. Verdell? What's wrong? You miss the tough guy?
[imitating Melvin]
Simon Bishop: Well, here I am, sweetheart! Happy to see me, you little piss-ant mop? How about another ride down the chute?
[as

himself]
Simon Bishop: God, I'm sorry, I did not mean that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Jackie: Simon...
Simon Bishop: I didn't mean that, sweetheart. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[to Jackie]
Simon Bishop: I'll be able to keep my apartment and the studio, won't I?
[Jackie looks at Simon, then reaches

for another card]
Simon Bishop: Oh my God...