Who Framed Roger Rabbit Quotes

Roger Rabbit: P-p-please, Raoul. I can give you stars. Just drop the refrigerator on my head one more time!
Raoul J. Raoul: Roger, I've dropped it on your head 23 times already.
Roger Rabbit: I can take it, don't worry about me.
Raoul J. Raoul: I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about the REFRIGERATOR!

Roger Rabbit: But I can give you stars, Look!
[Raoul storms out, not paying any attention to Roger slapping a Frying Pan on his head and producing many effects, none of them stars]

Eddie Valiant: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that in a fit of jealousy you wrote your wife a love letter?
Roger Rabbit: That's right! I knew that she was just an innocent victim of circumstance.
Eddie Valiant: I suppose you used the old lipstick on the mirror routine.
Roger Rabbit:

Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no. I found a nice, clean piece of paper.
[reading]
Roger Rabbit: "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand. Five...?

Roger Rabbit: Listen, my philosophy is this: If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead.
Eddie Valiant: You might just get your wish if we don't find out what happened to this.
[Tosses a photo at Dolores]
Roger Rabbit: What is it, Eddie?
Eddie Valiant: Just look at it.
[the

photo is an enlargement of one of the photos of Acme and Jessica, with a paper in Acme's coat pocket circled]
Roger Rabbit: Mister Acme's will!
Eddie Valiant: Yeah, and I think Acme took the part of sound mind, and your wife of sound body.
Roger Rabbit: Why, I resent that innuendo!

Judge Doom: [deleted scene] Rummaging around in a lady's dressing room? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What were you looking for, Mr. Valiant?
Jessica Rabbit: Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir.
Eddie Valiant: Look, doll, if I'd wanted underwear, I'd have broken into Frederick's of Hollywood. You know damn well I

was looking for Marvin Acme's will.
Judge Doom: Marvin Acme had no will. I should know; the estate's in my jurisdiction.
Eddie Valiant: Oh, there was a will all right. And she and R.K. Maroon killed him for it.
Jessica Rabbit: [offended] That's absurd!
Eddie Valiant: Someone else is in here looking for

the will, too. Probably Maroon's flunkies.
[gestures toward the gorilla bouncer]
Eddie Valiant: I would've caught 'em, too, if Cheetah here hadn't have interrupted me!

[Eddie Valiant sits down at the Ink and Paint Club; Marvin Acme squirts ink from his pen on Eddie's shirt and laughs]
Eddie Valiant: You think that's funny?
Marvin Acme: It's a panic!
Eddie Valiant: [grabs Acme by the lapels] You won't think it's funny when I stick that pen up your nose!
Marvin Acme:

Now, calm down, son, will ya? Look, the stain is gone. It's disappearing ink.
[the stain fades away]
Marvin Acme: No hard feelings, I hope. Listen, I'm...
Eddie Valiant: I know who you are. Marvin Acme, The guy that owns Toontown, the Gag King.
Marvin Acme: If it's Acme, it's a gasser. Put 'er there, pal.
[shakes

hands with Eddie, who feels a shock]
Marvin Acme: The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller.

Judge Doom: You wouldn't have any idea where the rabbit might be, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Have you tried Walla Walla? Cucamonga? I hear Kokomo's very nice this time of the year.
Judge Doom: I'm surprised you're not more cooperative, Mr. Valiant. A human has been murdered by a toon. Don't you appreciate the magnitude of that?

Lt. Santino: [Waking Eddie up, who fell asleep in his Office] Gee whiz, Eddie, if you really needed money so bad, then why didn't you come to me?
Eddie Valiant: So I took a couple of dirty pictures, kill me.
Lt. Santino: I've already got a stiff on my hands, thank you.
Eddie Valiant: Huh?
Lt.

Santino: Marvin Acme. The rabbit cacked him last night.

R.K. Maroon: [Ducking under the curtains] Kinda jumpy, aren't you, Mr. Valiant? It's just Dumbo.
Eddie Valiant: I KNOW who it is.
[Maroon opens the window]
R.K. Maroon: I got him on loan from Disney - him and half the cast of Fantasia. The best part is, they work for peanuts.
[Throws peanuts to Dumbo, who flies off]