Roger Rabbit: Boy, what is this, some kind of secret room?
Dolores: It's a rotgut room, holdover from Prohibition.
Roger Rabbit: Oh, I get it, a speakeasy, a gin mill, a hooch parlor.
Lt. Santino: Judge Doom killed Marvin Acme.
Eddie Valiant: And R.K. Maroon. And my brother.
Lt. Santino: Now that's what I call one seriously disturbed toon.
Judge Doom: [while putting on a large black rubber glove] Since I've had Toontown under my jurisdiction my goal has been to reign in the insanity, and the only way to do that is to make Toons respect...
[lets the glove snap back onto his arm]
Judge Doom: ... the law.
Dolores: [Ripping the Toon Kiss mark from Jessica off Eddie's face] Do you wanna tell me what she was doing with her arms around you?
Eddie Valiant: Probably looking for a good place to stick a knife!
Dolores: Come on, Eddie! I caught you with your pants down!
Judge Doom: You see, Mr. Valiant, the successful conclusion of this case draws the curtain on my career as a jurist in Toontown. I'm retiring, taking a new role in the private sector.
Eddie Valiant: That wouldn't be Cloverleaf Industries, by any chance?
Judge Doom: You're looking at the sole stockholder.
Dolores: [catching Eddie with Jessica] Dabbling in watercolors, Eddie?
Eddie Valiant: Scotch on the rocks... and I MEAN ICE!
[Eddie gets $50 for a $100 job]
Eddie Valiant: Where's the other fifty?
R.K. Maroon: Let's call the other fifty a carrot to finish the job.
Eddie Valiant: You've been hanging around rabbits too long.
Eddie Valiant: This singing ain't my line / It's hard to make a rhyme / If I get stuck, I'm... I'm out of luck, and... and...
Jessica Rabbit: I'm running out of time!
Eddie Valiant: Thanks.
Smart Ass: Look, Valiant, we got a reliable tip-off. The rabbit was here. It was corrugated by several others. So cut the "bull-shtick"!
Eddie Valiant: You keep talkin' like that, and I'm gonna have to wash your mouth out!
[he sticks a bar of soap in Smart Ass's mouth, making the other weasels laugh]
Eddie Valiant: I'm glad Teddy isn't here to see me running with my tail between my legs.
Roger Rabbit: It's not so bad, once you get used to it.
Roger Rabbit: No! Not my Jessica! Not pattycake! It can't be! It just can't be! Jessica's my wife! It's absolutely impossible! Jessica's the love of my life. The apple of my eye. The cream in my coffee.
Eddie Valiant: Well you better start drinking it black, Acme's taking the cream now.
Roger Rabbit: [as he dances on the bar's counter top] Woo-hoo-hoo! Nice shirt. Who's your tailor? Quasimodo? Woo-hoo!
[as Doom is searching for Roger by tapping "Shave and a Haircut"]
Eddie Valiant: I don't know who's toonier, you or Doom.
[Roger's teeth chatter, as he tries to resist Judge Doom's tapping]
