Who Framed Roger Rabbit Quotes

Judge Doom: Can you guess what this is?
[Turns tap handle, Dip pours out onto a silver plate]
Jessica Rabbit: Oh my God, it's DIP!
Judge Doom: That's right, my dear! Enough to dip Toontown off the face of the earth!
[Removes the curtain, revealing a vehicle that contains a tonne of dip stored]
Judge

Doom: Vehicle of my own design; 5,000 gallons of heated dip, pumped at enormous velocity through a pressurized water cannon. Toontown will be erased in a matter of minutes.

Judge Doom: [Explaining his plan to obliterate Toontown] A few weeks ago I had the good providence to stumble upon a plan of the city council. A construction plan of epic proportions. We're calling it a freeway.
Eddie Valiant: Freeway? What the hell's a freeway?
Judge Doom: Eight lanes of shimmering cement running from here to

Pasadena. Smooth, safe, fast. Traffic jams will be a thing of the past.

Angelo: Hey, I seen a rabbit.
[Roger gasps]
Eddie Valiant: Ya see?
Judge Doom: Where?
Angelo: He's right here in the bar.
[puts his arm around Harvey the Invisible Rabbit]
Angelo: Say hello... Harvey.
[the whole bar erupts in laughter]
Roger

Rabbit: I told you so.

R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant?
Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herman cartoon. You've seen the rabbit blowing his lines. He can't keep his mind on his

job. You know why?
Eddie Valiant: One too many refrigerators dropped on his head?
R.K. Maroon: Nah, he's a toon. You can drop anything you want on his head, he'll shake it off. But break his heart, goes to pieces just like you and me.

[Bongo catches Eddie spying on Jessica]
Bongo: What do you think you're doing, chump?
Eddie Valiant: Who are you calling a chump, chimp?
[growls, picks up Eddie and carries him to the backstage door and throws Eddie into the garbage]
Bongo: Don't let me catch your peeping face around here again. Got it?
[growls

and slams the door]
Eddie Valiant: OOGA-BOOGA!

[as they're filming a Baby Herman Cartoon, things go wrong at the point when the Refrigerator gets dropped on Roger's head]
Raoul J. Raoul: Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut, CUT!
Baby Herman: What the hell was wrong with THAT take?
Raoul J. Raoul: Nothing with you, Baby Herman. You were great. You were perfect. You were BETTER than

perfect! It's Roger, he keeps BLOWING HIS LINES! Roger, what is this?
Roger Rabbit: A tweeting bird.
Raoul J. Raoul: "A tweeting bird." Roger, read this script. Look what it says. It says, "Rabbit gets klunked, rabbit sees STARS." Not birds, STARS!

[Eddie sneaks up on Maroon]
Eddie Valiant: What's up, Doc?
R.K. Maroon: Valiant, are you trying to give me a heart attack?
Eddie Valiant: You need a heart, before you can have an attack.
R.K. Maroon: Yeah, yeah. You got the will?
Eddie Valiant: Sure. I got the will. Question is,

do you have the way? I can tell you now it ain't gonna come cheap.

Eddie Valiant: A ladies' man, eh?
Baby Herman: The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky.
Eddie Valiant: Yeah. Must be tough.
Baby Herman: Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer, I should know, he's a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing

stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The papers said Acme left no will.
[Tosses Eddie a Newspaper which shows Marvin Acme with a will in the pocket of his shirt]
Baby Herman: That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the real reason he got bumped off.
Eddie

Valiant: Has anybody ever seen this will?
Baby Herman: Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath.
Eddie Valiant: If you think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal.
Baby Herman: I just thought that since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might wanna help get him out. I can pay ya.

Eddie Valiant: [angry] Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!
[pushes stroller]
Baby Herman: Hey hey hay, Valiant, wait!
[cigar falls to floor as stroller hits woman]
Baby Herman: My stogie!
[sees ruined cigar]
Baby Herman: WAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAA...

Eddie Valiant: Say, Roger. That letter you wrote to your wife at the Ink and Paint Club? Why don't you read it to her now?
Roger Rabbit: Sure thing, Eddie. "Dear Jessica: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I, Marvin Acme, of sound mind and body...? It's the will!
Eddie Valiant: Keep reading.
Roger

Rabbit: "... do hereby bequeath, in perpetuity, the property known as Toontown, to those lovable characters, the toons"!

Jessica Rabbit: [Aims a gun at Eddie Valiant] Valiant.
Eddie Valiant: I always knew I'd get it in Toontown.
[as he turns around, A shadow of Judge Doom with a gun appears on the wall]
Jessica Rabbit: Behind you!
[Shoots at the shadow; it falls back and the gun drops on the floor]
Eddie Valiant:

Drop it, lady!
Jessica Rabbit: I just saved your life, and you still don't trust me?
Eddie Valiant: I don't trust anybody or anything!
Jessica Rabbit: Not even your own eyes?
[Points at the gun on the floor]
Jessica Rabbit: That's the gun that killed R.K. Maroon, and Doom pulled the trigger.

Eddie Valiant: Doom?
Jessica Rabbit: I tracked him to the studio, but I was too late to stop him.
Judge Doom: [Running down the alley] That's right! You'll never stop me! You're dead! You're both dead!
Eddie Valiant: Doom!
[Shoots from his toon gun; Doom turns right and the bullets stop in mid air]

Bullet #3: Which way did he go?
Bullet #2: I don't know. He went thataway.
Bullet #3: Let's go.
[They turn left, the wrong way]
Eddie Valiant: Dum-dums.

Roger Rabbit: [Crying] No wonder you hate me. If a toon killed my brother, I'd hate me too.
Eddie Valiant: Come on, don't cry. I don't hate you.
Roger Rabbit: Yes, you do.
Eddie Valiant: No, I don't.
Roger Rabbit: You do hate me. Otherwise, you wouldn't have yanked my ears all those

times.
Eddie Valiant: Well, I'm... I'm sorry I yanked your ears.
Roger Rabbit: All the times you yanked my ears?
Eddie Valiant: All the times I yanked your ears.

Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision, but I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toontown once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly

prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.