Acme Quotes

Rockhound: Yeah, I remember this one. It's where the, uh, the coyote sat his ass down in a slingshot then he strapped himself to an Acme rocket. Is that - is that what we're doin' here?
Harry Stamper: [under his breath] Rockhound.
Rockhound: No, no, really, because it didn't work out too well for the coyote, Harry.

Harry Stamper: [talking over him] Hey, Rock. Knock it off.
Truman: Well, actually, we have a lot better rockets than the coyote.

Eddie Valiant: A ladies' man, eh?
Baby Herman: The problem is I got a fifty year old lust and a three year old dinky.
Eddie Valiant: Yeah. Must be tough.
Baby Herman: Look, Valiant, the rabbit didn't kill Acme. He's not a murderer, I should know, he's a dear friend of mine. I tell ya Valiant, the whole thing

stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. The papers said Acme left no will.
[Tosses Eddie a Newspaper which shows Marvin Acme with a will in the pocket of his shirt]
Baby Herman: That's a load of succotash. Any toon knows Acme had a will. He promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the real reason he got bumped off.
Eddie

Valiant: Has anybody ever seen this will?
Baby Herman: Ah, no. But he gave us his solemn oath.
Eddie Valiant: If you think that guy could do anything solemn, the gag's on you, pal.
Baby Herman: I just thought that since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might wanna help get him out. I can pay ya.

Eddie Valiant: [angry] Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes!
[pushes stroller]
Baby Herman: Hey hey hay, Valiant, wait!
[cigar falls to floor as stroller hits woman]
Baby Herman: My stogie!
[sees ruined cigar]
Baby Herman: WAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAAAAAA! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAA...

Eddie Valiant: So that's why you killed Acme and Maroon? For this freeway? I don't get it.
Judge Doom: Of course not. You lack vision, but I see a place where people get on and off the freeway. On and off, off and on all day, all night. Soon, where Toontown once stood will be a string of gas stations, inexpensive motels, restaurants that serve rapidly

prepared food. Tire salons, automobile dealerships and wonderful, wonderful billboards reaching as far as the eye can see. My God, it'll be beautiful.

Roger Rabbit: Listen, my philosophy is this: If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead.
Eddie Valiant: You might just get your wish if we don't find out what happened to this.
[Tosses a photo at Dolores]
Roger Rabbit: What is it, Eddie?
Eddie Valiant: Just look at it.
[the

photo is an enlargement of one of the photos of Acme and Jessica, with a paper in Acme's coat pocket circled]
Roger Rabbit: Mister Acme's will!
Eddie Valiant: Yeah, and I think Acme took the part of sound mind, and your wife of sound body.
Roger Rabbit: Why, I resent that innuendo!

Judge Doom: [deleted scene] Rummaging around in a lady's dressing room? Tsk, tsk, tsk. What were you looking for, Mr. Valiant?
Jessica Rabbit: Last week, some heavy breather wanted one of my nylons as a souvenir.
Eddie Valiant: Look, doll, if I'd wanted underwear, I'd have broken into Frederick's of Hollywood. You know damn well I

was looking for Marvin Acme's will.
Judge Doom: Marvin Acme had no will. I should know; the estate's in my jurisdiction.
Eddie Valiant: Oh, there was a will all right. And she and R.K. Maroon killed him for it.
Jessica Rabbit: [offended] That's absurd!
Eddie Valiant: Someone else is in here looking for

the will, too. Probably Maroon's flunkies.
[gestures toward the gorilla bouncer]
Eddie Valiant: I would've caught 'em, too, if Cheetah here hadn't have interrupted me!

[Eddie Valiant sits down at the Ink and Paint Club; Marvin Acme squirts ink from his pen on Eddie's shirt and laughs]
Eddie Valiant: You think that's funny?
Marvin Acme: It's a panic!
Eddie Valiant: [grabs Acme by the lapels] You won't think it's funny when I stick that pen up your nose!
Marvin Acme:

Now, calm down, son, will ya? Look, the stain is gone. It's disappearing ink.
[the stain fades away]
Marvin Acme: No hard feelings, I hope. Listen, I'm...
Eddie Valiant: I know who you are. Marvin Acme, The guy that owns Toontown, the Gag King.
Marvin Acme: If it's Acme, it's a gasser. Put 'er there, pal.
[shakes

hands with Eddie, who feels a shock]
Marvin Acme: The hand buzzer. Still our biggest seller.