Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Russel: It will be Terry's job to give the actors their hand cue.
Wayne Campbell: Excuse me, Russel, but I believe I requested the hand job...

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Mikita's Manager, Glen: Anything wrong, Davy?
Davy: Yeah, I got paid today.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah, I know what that's like.
Davy: No. You don't understand. They laid me off. I got one of these.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah, I know how that feels.
Davy:

Know what I'd like to do?
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.
Davy: Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.
Mikita's Manager,

Glen: Well, the world's a twisted place.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar: [to Alice Cooper] We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
Garth Algar: We're scum!
Wayne Campbell: We suck!

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

[Talking about Claudia Schiffer]
Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Mikita's Manager, Glen: You know, if you stab a man in the dead of winter, steam will rise up from the wounds. Indians believed it was his soul escaping from his body.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: I mean, there are two Darrin Stevenses, right? Dick York and Dick Sargent. Yeah, right, as if we wouldn't notice. Oh hold on: Dick York, Dick Sargent, Sergeant York... Wow, that's weird.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Garth Algar: [reading Benjamin's planner aloud] "Daily reminder, Thursday: Purchase feeble public access cable show and exploit it." Gee, I feel sorry for whoever *that* is.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Benjamin: Hey, who wants Chinese take-out? I know a great place!
Wayne Campbell: I'll have the "cream of sum yung guy".

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

[admiring a guitar in a music store]
Wayne Campbell: It will be mine. Oh yes. It will be mine.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

[Wayne Campbell is stopped by a traffic cop]
Wayne Campbell: Yes, officer, is there a problem?
T-1000: Have you seen this boy?

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Cassandra: I don't believe I've ever had French champagne before...
Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French; it's named after the region. Otherwise it's sparkling white wine. Americans of course don't recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white "champagne", even though by definition they're not.

Wayne Campbell: Ah yes, it's a lot like "Star Trek: The Next Generation". In many ways it's superior but will never be as recognized as the original.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Garth Algar: [getting a suck-cut] Aaaahh! Turn it off man, turn it off! It's sucking my will to live! Oh, the humanity!

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Alan: Do I frighten you?
Mrs. Vanderhoff: No.
Alan: Do you want me to?

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Garth Algar: Ribbed for her pleasure. Ewww.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Garth Algar: Okay, pop quiz. Cassandra is not interested in Benjamin because... A: Chicks think he's handsome, B: has cool car, C: has lots of cash, D: has no visible scars, E: does not live with parents.
Wayne Campbell: Okay, how about, F: you're a gimp. You know what you can do with your pop quiz?
Garth Algar: Well, you know what

you can do with your show? You can take a flying...
[a passing jet liner mutes out most of what he says]
Garth Algar: ...till the handle breaks off and you have to get a doctor to pull it out again!
Wayne Campbell: You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Garth Algar: Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: Zang. ("excellent" in Cantonese)

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Garth Algar: That bass player's a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: Tell me, when the first show is over, will you still love me when I'm an incredibly humungoid giant star?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Will you still love me when I'm in my hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Will you still love me

when I'm in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Okay, party. Bonus.

Wayne's World
Wayne's World

Garth Algar: Uh, Wayne?
Wayne Campbell: Yeah?
Garth Algar: Do you ever get the feeling Benjamin's just using us?
Wayne Campbell: Good call. It's like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.