81 Wayne's World Quotes (2026) #4

Wayne's World

Cassandra: Yeah, and if a frog had wings it wouldn't bump its ass when it hopped.
Wayne Campbell: Interesting. Where did you learn English?
Cassandra: College... and the Police Academy movies.

Wayne's World

Benjamin: First, let me get this out of the way - I'm a big fan.
Garth Algar: You are?
Benjamin: The way I see it, your show is capable of so much more.
Garth Algar: Well, we'll try harder, OK? Just give us a second chance. Just don't go and cancel us without giving us a second chance.

Wayne's World

Benjamin: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm, no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office - that's what I did - and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his big fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going

to jail for *you* or for anybody."

Wayne's World

Terry: Wayne. Wayne. Garth told me about the show, man. I love you man.
Wayne Campbell: Yeah, and I love you too, Terry.
Terry: No, no, no. I mean it man. I LOVE you.
Wayne Campbell: No, I-I mean it. I love you.
Terry: No, you don't, man. I love you.
Wayne

Campbell: [being hugged by Terry] Garth. Hey, come over here, I think Terry has something he wants to say to you.
Terry: I love you, man.
Garth Algar: Thank you.

Wayne's World

Stacy: Hi, Garth.
Garth Algar: Hi.
Stacy: I'm looking for Wayne. I'm very concerned about him; he seems to be going through a difficult phase right now, ya know. What do you think it is?
Garth Algar: That you're mental.
Stacy: You know him best, what do you think I should do?

Garth Algar: Just get over it and go out with somebody else.
Stacy: "Get over it go out with somebody else." Yeah, thanks, OK, great. Hi.

Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: Phil, what are you doing here? You're partied out, man. Again.
Garth Algar: What if he honks in the car?
Wayne Campbell: I'm giving you a no-honk guarantee.

Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: First he screws me, then he screws you. It's Dutch door action.

Wayne's World

Old Man Withers: And I would've gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for you snoopin' kids!

Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: [admiring Benjamin's apartment] Yep, this is definitely the kind of apartment I'll have if I ever move out of my parents' basement.

Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: Kiss your mother with that mouth? I'm gettin' outta here, Damien!
Garth Algar: Fine then, go!
Wayne Campbell: I'm gone!
Garth Algar: Go then!
Wayne Campbell: But I am!
Garth Algar: Go!
Wayne Campbell: I'm Gone!

Garth Algar: Go then!
Wayne Campbell: But I am!

Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: [sees his car parked outside the house] Ahh... the Mirth-Mobile...

Wayne's World

[to the camera]
Wayne Campbell: What the hell's going on? I lost my show, I lost my best friend, I lost my girl. I'm being shit on, that's all, shit on, and you know what really pisses me off-
[Camera pans away]
Wayne Campbell: Wait, where are you goin'? OK, things aren't that great, but I'll get 'em back, OK?

Wayne's World

Phil: [not remembering their trip to the Gasworks] Hey, did you guys go to the Gasworks on Friday night?
Wayne Campbell: [Referring to him and Phil as well] Yeah, we were there.
Phil: There was this band, 'Crucial Taunt'. They had this mega-babe for a lead singer, unreal.
Wayne Campbell: Phil, we were there.

Have you gone mental? Hello!

Wayne's World

[in a music store]
Wayne Campbell: I know. I'll use the "May I help you?" riff.
[strums guitar]
Clerk: May I help you?

Wayne's World

[first lines]
[in bed, flipping through tv commercials]
Elyse: It's really good seeing you, Benjamin. You haven't been into Shakey's for so long.
Benjamin: Well, I've been real busy.

Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: She's a babe! Schwing! Oddie-Oddie-Oddie-Oddie-Oddie! Uggghh!

Wayne's World

Wayne Campbell: [9:19] OK, this guy needs coffee and crullers' stat!
Neil: We got to get him to Rampart, let's go.

Wayne's World

Garth Algar: [playing street hockey with Wayne and blocking a goal] Gretzky denied!

Wayne's World

Benjamin: Wayne, did you know that Noah does all his own commercials?
Noah Vanderhoff: Yeah, I got a new one where I rap. "Come bust a move where the games are played. It's chill, it's fresh, it's Noah's Arcade." What do you think of that?
Wayne Campbell: I'd have to say... a sphincter says "what?"
Noah

Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne Campbell: A sphincter says "what?"
Noah Vanderhoff: What?
Wayne Campbell: Exactly.