The Emperor's New Groove Quotes

Kronk's Shoulder Angel: You're not just gonna let him die like that, are you?
Kronk: My shoulder angel.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead you down the path that *rocks*.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Oh, come off it.

Kronk's Shoulder Devil: *You* come off it.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: You.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: You.
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: You.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: You infinity.
[Shoulder Angel grrs]

Kuzco: [about Kronk] Oh, he's doing his own theme music?
[Kronk stops in his tracks, trying to blend in with the wall decorations while imitating the crickets as two people pass by. Of course they notice him, but disregard him anyway. When they leave, the camera pans out to reveal giant wall carvings were pointing straight at Kronk]
Kuzco:

[Narrating] Big, dumb, *and* tone deaf. I am *so glad* I was unconscious for all of this.

Kuzco: [walking back to his palace, alone, in the jungle] Scary jungle. Right.
[in mocking voice]
Kuzco: Oh, a leaf! Oh, it might attack me. Oh, it's a scary tree! I'm afraid. Please. Never find my way? I'm the Emperor, and as such, I'm born with an innate sense of direction. Okay, where am I?
[a fly buzzes nearby and gets caught in spiderweb]

Bug in jungle: Help me! Help me!
[Spider comes and eats the fly off-screen]
Bug in jungle: Too late...
Kuzco: Ok... that's the freakiest thing I've ever seen...

[Film stops, Llama Kuzco appears on screen]
Kuzco: Uh, excuse me. Two seconds here. I'm the one in the cart, remember? This story is about me.
[Circles the bag on the cart where he is]
Kuzco: Not him.
[Crosses out Pacha]
Kuzco: Okay, we're clear? All right, we're gonna move ahead. Sorry to keep you waiting.

[Exits; returns to scribble over Pacha; realizes he's still on screen, chuckles, then leaves; film starts up again]

Kronk: Hey, don't I know you?
Pacha: I... I don't think so.
Kronk: Wrestled you in high school.
Pacha: I don't remember that, no.
Kronk: Metal shop? Oh, I know, Miss Nalca's interpretive dance, two semesters. I was usually in the back because of my weak ankles. C'mon, you gotta help me

out here.
Pacha: Look, I don't think we've ever met, but... I gotta go.
[Gets up]
Kronk: Don't worry, I'll think of it!

Pacha: [hanging off the bridge] Kuzco!
Kuzco: Yeah?
Pacha: Quick, pull me up!
Kuzco: No, I don't think I will.
Pacha: You're gonna leave me here?
Kuzco: Well, I was gonna have you imprisoned for life, but I kinda like this better.
Pacha: I

thought you were a changed man.
Kuzco: Come on, I had to say *something* to get you to take me back to the palace.
Pacha: So all of it was a lie?
Kuzco: Well yeah. No, wait... Oh, yeah, it all was a lie. Toodles!