The Emperor's New Groove Quotes

Kuzco: [voiceover] So this is where you came in. See, just like I said, I'm the victim here! I didn't do anything, and they ruined my life and took everything I had.
Kuzco: Hey, give it a rest up there, will ya?
Kuzco: [voiceover] What? I'm just telling them what happened.
Kuzco: Who are you kidding, pal? They

saw the whole thing. They *know* what happened.
Kuzco: [voiceover] Well, yeah, but... but...
Kuzco: Just leave me alone.
[There are no more voiceovers for the remainder of the film]

Pacha: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
Kuzco: Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.
Pacha: I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.
Kuzco: Well,

that makes you ugly *and* stupid.
Pacha: Let's end this.
Kuzco: Ladies first.

Pacha: What happened?
Old Man: Well, I threw off the Emperor's groove.
Pacha: What?
Old Man: His groove! The rhythm in which he lives his life. His pattern of behavior. I threw it off. And the Emperor had me thrown out the window.
Pacha: Oh, really? I'm supposed to see him today.

Old Man: Don't throw off his groove!
Pacha: Oh, okay.
Old Man: Bewaaare, the grooove.
Pacha: Hey, are you gonna be all right?
Old Man: Grooove...

Yzma: [Believing Kuzco is dead, telling the others in the palace] And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince, taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his eighteenth birthday.
Kronk: [sobbing] Poor little guy.
Yzma: His legacy will live in our hearts...

Kronk: He never had a chance.
Yzma: ...for all eternity.
[pause]
Yzma: Well, he ain't getting any deader! Back to work.
[the palace guards begin to change the palace theming from Kuzco to Yzma]

ChiCha: So what did the emperor want?
Pacha: [Unable to explain that Emperor Kuzco was planning to destroy their village to make room for his Summer home, Kuzcotopia] Uh, you know what? He couldn't see me.
ChiCha: Couldn't see you? Why not?
Pacha: I don't know.
ChiCha: Well, that's just

rude!
Pacha: Well, he is the emperor. I'm sure he's busy.
ChiCha: No no no no. Emperor or no Emperor, it's called common courtesy. If it were me, I'd march right back there and *demand* to see him. You know I would!
Pacha: Sweetie, sweetie, think of the baby.
ChiCha: Pacha, I'm fine. This baby's not

coming out for a while, but even if it was, I'd give that guy a piece of my mind. That kind of behavior just, just...
[snorts]
ChiCha: I gotta go wash something.

[the drink is poisoned]
Yzma: Kronk, the emperor needs his... drink!
Kronk: Right. Oh...
[winks at Yzma]
Kronk: ...riiiiiiggghhht.
[goes to grab drink and realizes that he doesn't know which one it is; takes the drinks away to pour the poison again]
Kuzco: Hey, Kronky, everything okay back

there?
Kronk: [mixing the drinks together before refilling all the cups] Oh, uh, the drinks were a bit on the, uh...
[small explosion from each of the cups]
Kronk: ...warm side. Hehe. Hey, did ya see that sky today? Talk about blue.
Yzma: Yes, Kronk. Riveting. A toast, to the emperor! Long live Kuzco!

Kronk: [to Yzma trying to make it sound like he's coughing] Don't drink the wine. Poison.

ChiCha: As I said before, you may remember, Pacha is not here. I'll be sure to tell him you stopped by.
Yzma: Oh, would you please? That would be just great.
[knocks her cup on the floor]
Yzma: Oops. Silly me.
ChiCha: [annoyed] No no, allow me.
[very pregnant, tries to squat to pick up cup]

Yzma: [joins Kronk jumping rope] She's hiding something. When I give the word we search the house.
Kronk: Ok, but I still have 94 monkeys to go.

Townsman #1: Hey, Pacha, you just missed your relatives.
Pacha: My relatives?
Townsman #1: Yeah, we just sent them up to your house.
Pacha: What'd they look like?
Townsman #1: Well there was this big guy, and this older woman who was... well, how would you describe her?
Townsman #2: Ah, scary beyond all reason?
Townsman

#1: Yeah, that's it.

Pacha: Emperor Kuzco?
Kuzco: Yeah. Who did you think you were talking to?
Pacha: Um... How did... uh... you don't... *look* like the emperor.
Kuzco: What do you mean I don't look like the emperor?
Pacha: Um... do this.
[wiggles fingers]
Kuzco: What is

this, some little game you country folk like to play?
[sees his hoofed hand, gasps]
Kuzco: It can't be! I...
[looks at his reflection in the water]
Kuzco: [Gasps] My face! My beautiful, beautiful face! I'm an ugly, stinky llama! Wah-hah-hah! Llama face!