Toys 'R Us Saleswoman: Will there be anything else?
Toys 'R Us Customer: Yes, do you have the Miss Piggy?
[Arriving at the Orphanage]
Jake: What are we doing here?
Elwood: You promised you'd visit the penguin the day you got out.
Jake: Yeah? So I lied to her.
Elwood: You can't lie to a nun. We got to go in and visit the penguin.
Jake: No... fucking... way.
Elwood: Oh no.
Jake: What the fuck was that?
Elwood: The motor. We've thrown a rod.
Jake: Is that serious?
Elwood: Yup.
Elwood: [after crashing the Bluesmobile in a car dealership] The new Oldsmobiles are in early this year!
Curtis: Well, the Sister was right. You boys could use a little churching up. Slide on down to the Triple Rock, and catch Rev. Cleophus. You boys listen to what he's got to say.
Jake: Curtis, I don't want to listen to no jive-ass preacher talking to me about Heaven and Hell.
Curtis: Jake, you get wise. You get to church.
Elwood: This is definitely Lower Wacker Drive! If my estimations are correct, we should be very close to the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza!
Jake: That's where they got that Picasso.
Elwood: Yep.
Elwood: I bet these cops got SCMODS.
Jake: SCMODS?
Elwood: State County Municipal Offender Data System.
Elwood: You on the motorcycle... You two girls... tell your friends.
Ray: Pardon me, but we have a strict policy concerning the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be present. Now, may I help you?
[after arriving at Wrigley Field, thinking it's Elwood's house]
Head Nazi: [to the Nazis] Anybody with that kind of record is gonna make a mistake. I want all party members in the tri-state district to monitor the city, county and state police on their CBs. Mr. Blues is gonna fuck up, and when he does... he better pray the police get to him before we do.
Jake: Look at you, in those candy-ass monkey suits. And I thought I had it bad in Joliet.
Willie 'Too Big' Hall: At least we got a change of clothes, sucker. You're wearing the same shit you had on three years ago.
Elwood: [during "Everybody Needs Somebody to Love"] People, when you do find that special somebody, you gotta hold that man, hold that woman! Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her! Signify your feelings with every gentle caress, because it's so important to have that special somebody to hold, to kiss, to miss, to squeeze, and please!
Bob: That ain't no Hank Williams song!
Jake: Disco pants and haircuts...
Elwood: Yeah, lots of space in this mall.
Elwood: Hey, Jake. Jake. I gotta pull over.
[he drives the Bluesmobile off the road, right through a guardrail]
Elwood: You want I should wash the dead bugs off the windshield?
Ray: Breaks my heart to see a boy that young goin' bad.
Maury Sline: What are you guys gonna do? The same act? You wear the same verkakte suits?
Reverend Cleophus James: Praise God!
Elwood: And God bless the United States of America!
