The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

[Sister Mary Stigmata hits Elwood with her stick]
Elwood: Ow, you fat penguin!

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Jake: Uh, Bob, about the money for tonight.
Bob: Oh, yeah, $200, and you boys drank $300 worth of beer.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Murph: Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
Ray: Ah, you have a good eye, my man. That's the best in the city Chicago.
Jake: How much?
Ray: 2000 bucks and it's yours. You can take it home with you. As a matter of fact, I'll throw in the black keys for free.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Jake: First you traded the Cadillac in for a microphone. Then you lied to me about the band. And now you're gonna put me right back in the joint!
Elwood: They're not gonna catch us. We're on a mission from God.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Jake: How are you gonna get the band back together, Mr. Hot Rodder? Those cops have your name, your address...
Elwood: They don't have my address. I falsified my renewal. I put down 1060 West Addison.
Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Elwood: This is glue. Strong stuff.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Willie 'Too Big' Hall: So, Jake, you're out, you're free, you're rehabilitated. What's next? What's happenin'? What you gonna do? You got the money you owe us, motherfucker?

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Donald 'Duck' Dunn: We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Elwood: The light was yellow, sir.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Reverend Cleophus James: And now, people... And now, people... When I woke up this mornin', I heard a distubin' sound. I said When I woke up this mornin', I heard a disturbin' sound! What I heard was the jingle-jangle of a thousand lost souls! I'm talkin' 'bout the souls of mortal men and women, departed from this life. Wait a minute! Those lost angry souls roamin' unseen on the

earth, seekin' to find life they'll not find, because it's too late! Tooooo late, yeah! Too late for they'll never see again the life they choose not to follow. Alright! Alright! Don't be lost when your time comes! For the day of the Lord cometh as a thief in the night!
[singing]
Reverend Cleophus James: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAH! Can I get an AMEN?
[congregation shouts

"AMEN!"]
Reverend Cleophus James: Can I get an AMEN?
[congregation shouts "AMEN!" again]
Reverend Cleophus James: Well Well Well!
[breaks into "The Old Landmark"]

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Mrs. Murphy: We got two honkies out there dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants.
Matt Murphy: Say what?
Mrs. Murphy: They look like they're from the CIA, or somethin'.
Matt Murphy: What they want to eat?
Mrs. Murphy: The tall one wants white bread, toasted, dry, with nothin' on it.

Matt Murphy: Elwood.
Mrs. Murphy: And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.
Matt Murphy: And Jake. Shit, the Blues Brothers!

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Matt Murphy: Ah. Don't get riled, sugar.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you "Don't get riled, sugar" me! You ain't goin' back on the road no more, and you ain't playin' them ol' two-bit sleazy dives. You're livin' with me now, and you not gonna go slidin' around witcho ol' white hoodlum friends.
Matt Murphy: But babes, this is Jake and Elwood,

the Blues Brothers.
Mrs. Murphy: The Blues Brothers? Shit! They still owe you money, fool.
Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we're asking Matt here to do is a holy thing?
Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.
Mrs. Murphy: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you

blaspheme in here! This is my man, this is my restaurant, and you two are just gonna walk right out that door without your dry white toast, without your four fried chickens, and without Matt "Guitar" Murphy!

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Gruppenfuehrer: [to Head Nazi, as they plummet off the bridge] I've always loved you.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Elwood: [Police have surrounded the Blues Brothers concert] ... And we would especially like to welcome all the representatives of Illinois's law enforcement community that have chosen to join us here in the Palace Hotel Ballroom at this time...

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Jake: [about the electric piano] $2,000 for this chunk of shit? C'mon, Ray.
Murph: [tests the piano] I mean really, Ray, it's used. There's no action left in this keyboard.
Ray: [smiles, comes out to the piano] E-excuse me, uh, I don't think there's anything wrong with the action on this piano.
[launches into "Shake Your Tail

Feather"]

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Mrs. Tarantino: Are you the police?
Elwood: No ma'am. We're musicians.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

SWAT Team Commander: Excuse me! Did you see two guys come through here, black suits, black hats, one carrying a briefcase?
Lobby Guard #1: Yeah! I just sent 'em down there.
SWAT Team Commander: Thank you!
[hundreds of cops continues charge]

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

Jake: Book us for tomorrow night.
Maury Sline: Hold it, hold it. Tomorrow night? What are you talking about? A gig like that, you gotta prepare the proper exploitation.
Elwood: I know all about that stuff. I have been exploited all my life.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

[Jake Blues is released on parole and gets back all the things he wore when he was arrested]
Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic.
[looks disgusted, picks something up with his pen]
Corrections Officer: One soiled. One black suit jacket, one pair black suit pants. One hat
[punches it back out to

full]
Corrections Officer: black. One pair of sunglasses. $23.07. Sign here.

The Blues Brothers
The Blues Brothers

[Carrie flame throws a propane tank next to a phone booth they are in - it blows sky high and crashes down to earth - the phone breaking in half]
Elwood: Hey, Jake. Gotta be at least seven dollars worth of change here.