100 Shaun of the Dead Quotes (2026) #3

Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun sits down next to Ed, who's playing a videogame, and presses a button on the controller]
Videogame Voice: Player 2 has entered the game.
Ed: Don't you have work?
[Shaun presses a button again and gets up]
Videogame Voice: Player 2 has left the game.

Shaun of the Dead

Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichés. But what I will say is this?

[chuckling]
Ed: It's not the end of the world.

Shaun of the Dead

Liz: Well... is it clear?
Shaun: No.
Liz: How many?
Shaun: Lots.
[pan up to show a horde of zombies behind the fence]

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: You're the one that's gone from being a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston!
David: I'm not a chartered accountant!
Shaun: Well, you look like one!
Ed: YEAH!
David: I'm a lecturer.
Shaun: You're a twat!
Ed: YEAH!

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!

Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun tries to get out of Philip's Jaguar]
Shaun: Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
Philip: Safety first, Shaun.

Shaun of the Dead

[after Shaun gets shouted at by Liz]
David: Basically, I'd say your nine lives are up, Shaun
Shaun: Get fucked, four eyes! Why don't you go out with her if you love her so much?
David: What do you mean by that?
[storms off]
David: Well, I don't know what he meant by that.
[uncomfortable

silence]

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: No, Noel, no matter you might think, okay, I do not find it difficult to keep my work and my social life separate.
Worker: Shaun, it's Liz for you.
[hands him the phone]

Shaun of the Dead

[after Philip has been bitten]
Philip: You didn't call the doctor, did you?
Barbara: Well, I thought we ought to be on the safe side.
Philip: I'm quite all right, Barbara, I ran it under a cold tap.
Barbara: I really think...
Philip: We had our jabs when we went to the Isle of

Wight.
Barbara: But Philip...
Philip: It's a lot of overblown nonsense, a lot of drug nuts running wild.

#call

Shaun of the Dead

Ed: [Directing Shaun on where to shoot] There!
Shaun: Where?
Ed: Three o'clock!
Dianne: Oh! Over there again. Quarter to twelve.
Shaun: What?
David: Eleven forty-five!
Shaun: Keep it simple!
Ed: Top left!

Shaun of the Dead

Philip: You got red on you.

Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun is surprised to see that Liz has a pack of cigarettes]
Liz: You left them in my flat.
Shaun: Yeah, in the bin!
Liz: I was desperate.
Shaun: Sneaky monkey...

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: If you get cornered...
[hits himself on head with cricket bat]
Shaun: ...bash 'em in the head, that seems to work. Ow.

Shaun of the Dead

Dianne: I don't think he'd leave us, Davs.
David: Wouldn't he? Lizzy, how can you put your faith in a man you spectacularly binned for being unreliable? A man whose idea of a romantic nightspot and an impenetrable fortress are the same thing? It's... This is a pub! We are in a pub! What are we going to do now?
Ed: We could get a

round in.

Shaun of the Dead

David: You still haven't met his mum?
Shaun: Not yet!
Dianne: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her...
David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: No! I love my mum!
Ed: I love his mum

too.
Shaun: Ed!
Ed: [singing] She's like butter!
Shaun: Ed!

Shaun of the Dead

[repeated line]
Ed: Two seconds!

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: [to a girl in the garden] Excuse me?
[no response]
Shaun: Excuse me?
[no response]
Shaun: Hellew?
[no response]
Ed: [picks up a pebble and throws it off her back] Oi!
[girl turns round, a zombie]
Shaun: Oh, my God! She's so drunk!

Shaun of the Dead

[Ed is driving Philip's Jaguar very fast, dodging other cars as he tries to escape the zombies]
Philip: [pompously] You *do* realise this is a 20 mph zone?
Ed: [grinning] Oh yeah!