Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun has just fought a zombie unassisted]
Shaun: [sarcastically] Feel free to step in any time!
Ed: You did all right.
David: I didn't want to cramp your style.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think you should go.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[describing the zombies]
Dianne: Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness. Like a drunk who's lost a bet.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Liz: You hang out with my friends? Sorry, a failed actress and a twat?
Shaun: Well, that's a bit harsh.
Liz: Your words!
Shaun: I did NOT call Dianne a failed actress!

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: Look, I don't care what the telly says, all right? We *have* to get out of here. If we don't they'll tear us to pieces, and that is really going to exacerbate things for all of us.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: [about Ed] I've known him since primary school, you know? I like having him around, he's a laugh.
Pete: What, because he can impersonate an orangutan? Fuck-a-doodle-doo!
Shaun: Oh, leave him alone.
Pete: All right, I admit, he can pretty funny on occasion. Like that time we stayed up all night drinking

apple Schnappes and playing Tekken 2.
Shaun: Oh yeah.
[laughing]
Shaun: When was that?
Pete: [laughing] That was five years ago. When's he going home?

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun and Ed back up to the body of a man they've just hit and Shaun rolls down his window]
Shaun: Are you all right?
Ed: Come on, let's just go.
Shaun: Hello?
Ed: He's going to be dead either way.
Shaun: Ed, that's not the point!
[the body rises and moans, zombified, at

Shaun and Ed]
Shaun: Oh, thank God for that.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: Mum, look, what would you say if I told you that over the years Philip's been quite unkind to me?
Barbara: Well you weren't always the easiest person to live with.
Shaun: Mum, he chased me around the garden with a bit of wood!
Barbara: Well you did call him a you-know-what!

Shaun: Oh what, did he tell you that?
Barbara: Yes he did.
Shaun: Motherfucker!
Barbara: Shaun!
Shaun: Sorry mother... mum!
Shaun: Did you know that on several occasions... he touched me?
[long pause, then Barbara turns to look at Shaun]

Shaun: That wasn't true. Made it up. Shouldn't have done. Sorry.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Ed: Don't forget to kill Philip!

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he sells a bit of weed every now and again, you know. You've sold puff.
Pete: Yeah. Once. At college. To you.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Liz: Goodbye, Ed. Love you.
Ed: Cheers!
Shaun: I love you too, man.
Ed: Gaaayy!

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun hits the zombie pub owner with the butt of the rifle]
Ed: Why didn't you just shoot him, man?
Shaun: Ed, for the last time...
[Shaun squeezes the trigger of the gun, and it actually fires!]
Ed: [gleefully] I fucking knew it!

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: Well maybe one should do the other, and then do themselves.
Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I'll only muck it up if I have to do myself.
[Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels]
Shaun: You know, I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same night.


Liz: [pauses] What makes you think I'd have taken you back?
Shaun: Well... You don't want to die single do you?
Ed: [interrupting] That's it. I would like to be shot.
Shaun: Besides, I've changed. I haven't had a fag since yesterday, I promise!
Ed: He hasn't!

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Shaun: Pete? Pete?
Ed: Why don't we just go up?
Shaun: No. No. Wait. No. No! Don't go up there!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because A, he might be one of them, and B, he might still be annoyed. Pete? Maybe he went into work.
Ed: Well, how come he didn't drive? His keys

are still here.
Shaun: Well, maybe he got a lift; he said he wasn't feeling very well. Pete?
Ed: OI, PRICK!
[There is a pause]
Shaun, Ed: [together] He's not in.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[Repeated exchange]
Yvonne: Shaun! How are you doing?
Shaun: Surviving.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun leads the zombies away from the pub to create a diversion]
Shaun: Come and get it! It's a running buffet!
[shouts]
Shaun: All you can eat!

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[on leaving the front door open]
Pete: Now, I'm not saying it was you.
Shaun: I know, man...
Pete: I'm saying it was Ed.
Shaun: Right.

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

Jeremy Thompson - Newsreader: To recap, it is *vital* that you stay in your homes. Make no attempt to reach loved ones, and avoid all physical contact with the assailants.
Ed: Do you believe everything you hear on TV?

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[last lines]
Videogame Voice: Player two has entered the game.
[Ed, now a zombie, tries to bite Shaun]
Shaun: Ed!
Ed: [groans]

Shaun of the Dead
Shaun of the Dead

[Shaun hands Liz a bunch of flowers]
Shaun: Got you these.
[Liz reads the label]
Liz: "To a wonderful mum"?
Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wanna be my mum and that. It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of

the moment...
[long pause]
Liz: They're for your mum, aren't they?
Shaun: Yeah.
Liz: Smooth.