If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.
I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!
I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world.
I'm Liberace without a piano.
I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.
I was obsessed with being rich and famous.
Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.
I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
My father was adamant in his disapproval of my interest in show business.
Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to.
It was the worst moment of my life. The producer came up and talked me back into going on stage.
Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.
My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter.
I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that.
The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you.
I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly.
I think basically an actor is a salesman.
I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.
