No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Emma: I lost him.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Wallace: Look at my face.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Emma: Yeah, I stuck it in.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Adam: Don't call my penis cute. Even if it's dressed up as a Care Bear and it's giving you a care stare.
Emma: Don't dress up your penis. Ever!

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Alvin: Let's smoke some weed!

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Adam: So, did I just pass out on your couch?
Emma: No. Then you did this thing. It was like, a dance?
Adam: Dance?
Emma: Yeah, like.
[impersonates Adam's dance]
Adam: I shook my dick at you?
Emma: Yeah.
Adam: Oh, shit. I'm sorry.


Emma: No, no. It was exciting. It was like, you were cheering while you were doing it. You were like, "look at my dick!"
Adam: Did you look at it?
Emma: Yeah I looked. It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
Adam: Nice?
Emma: Seems kind of like carefree.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Shira: I just pulled a penis out of a Vitamin Water yesterday, so we are cool with penises here.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Sam: I'm the guy she marries, Adam. You're the guy she fucked a couple of times in the handicapped bathroom.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Eli: Ten years from now you're gonna be having sex with your wife. And it's gonna be in the missionary position. And one of you is going to be asleep.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Lucy: Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time I'm taking that thing away.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Alvin: So... Are you having sex?
[hands marijuana to Adam]
Adam: Yes. I'm having sex.
Alvin: 'Cause if you want any pointers, you know... I can help you out. If there's one thing you learn after two failed marriages, it's how to eat kitty. Anyone special?
Adam: No. I mean, not since Vanessa.

Alvin: It's been a year. It's time to move on.
Adam: It's been eight months, Dad.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Lisa: She is so good at impressions.
Adam: Do an impression, then.
Lisa: Yes, do an impression then.
Joy: All right, guess who this is.
[Joy sucks in her lips]
Joy: Dad!
[she sucks in her lips again]
Joy: Dad!
Lisa: Oh my

God, that's so cute.
Adam: I don't know.
Lisa: Come on.
Joy: Where are you?
Adam: I don't know.
Joy: Where are you, Dad?
[Wallace walks over]
Wallace: It's Nemo.
Lisa: Yes!
Joy: Yeah.

Adam: Nemo.
Lisa: Amazing.
Adam: I don't know why I didn't get that. How did you know that?
Wallace: 'Cause I've seen it a thousand times. That's how.
Lisa: Mmmm. Drew Barrymore.
Joy: I don't know if I'm drunk enough.
Lisa: Come on.

Adam: You can't do Drew Barrymore.
Wallace: Oh, but she can.
Joy: [in sexy valley girl accent] Happy holidays. I was in 'The Wedding Singer'.
[normal voice]
Joy: That's it. That's all I have.
Adam: That was kind of an amazing Drew Barrymore.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Joy: What's going on?
Adam: This is Joy.
Joy: I'm Joy. Hi.
Emma: Good for you.
Lisa: Adam?
Adam: And this is Lisa.
Emma: You are such an overachiever.
Adam: Thank you.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Adam: I'm gonna call every girl in my phone until someone agrees to have sex with me.
Wallace: That's strong. Toast to that.
Eli: Toast. That is a terrible, self-destructive plan, and we're behind you a hundred percent.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Adam: Hey.
Man with Dog: Hey.
Adam: We're sex friends. Just friends who have sex.
Man with Dog: That's not possible.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Emma: I'll be gone for like, an hour... I'm just getting some... Yogurt.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Shira: You bringing Adam to the Christmas party tonight?
Emma: No. Things were getting too intense so we decided not to see each other until we hook up with other people.
Shira: Okay. Yes. Good! We are getting laid tonight. This is going to be like Sideways only you're Paul Giamatti and I'm the guy who gets laid.

Emma: I can't get laid?
Shira: No. Tonight is about me, Emma. I'm feeling hot. I'm feeling good. I'm wearing bikini bottoms because my other underwear is dirty. Alright, we're hot. You feel hot?
Emma: [shrugs] No one threw up on me today.
Shira: We're sluts, Emma. We're dirty, dirty sluts!

Emma: Okay.
Shira: Remember, we're sluts!

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Lucy: That was such a fail on my part.

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Patrice: This is a frat party. You just have to be drunk and look hot. Watch and learn.
[gets on table and yells to the whole party]
Patrice: Hey! Hey! I'm so drunk!

No Strings Attached
No Strings Attached

Eli: I'd have sex with a pioneer, for sure.