John Smith: [after Jane accidentally throws a knife that punctures his leg] We'll talk about this later.
John Smith: [just before running over an assassin with the minivan] These fuckers get younger every year.
Jane Smith: [referring to the hit men in three black BMW'S pursuing them] They're bulletproof!
John Smith: [having not heard the hit men in three black BMW'S pursuing them and shot three times at the three black BMW'S chasing them] They're bulletproof!
John Smith: Sweet Jesus! Mother of God!
Eddie: [sitting in front of John in a diner] Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith: [turns around her chair at the bar] This lying bitch?
Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.
John Smith: [angry that Benjamin, tied to a chair, had blown their cover] You burn the picture after you get the assignment! It's the first thing you learn!
Benjamin: [sarcastically] Oh, I must have missed that day. Just like you missed the one about not marrying the enemy.
John Smith: [after having accidentally shot at his wife, Mr. Smith is on the roof of her car while she's trying to throw him off] Come on, let's talk about this! You don't want to go to bed angry!
Jane Smith: [over a speakerphone] I thought I told you not to bother me at the office, honey.
John Smith: [over the Bluetooth headset phone] Well, you are still Mrs. Smith.
Jane Smith: [over a speakerphone] Well, so are a lot of girls.
John Smith: Hiya, stranger.
Jane Smith: Hiya back.
Jane Smith: There's this huge space between us, and it just keeps filling up with everything that we *don't* say to each other. What's that called?
Marriage Counselor: Marriage.
John Smith: Careful, Jane. I can push the button any time I like.
Jane Smith: Baby, you couldn't find the button with both hands and a map.
Eddie: Did you get a look at him?
John Smith: Little thing. Buck ten, buck fifteen tops.
Eddie: Maybe he was Filipino!
John Smith: I'm not even sure it was a him.
Eddie: You saying you had your ass handed to you by some girl?
John Smith: I think so. A pro.
John Smith: [to Benjamin Danz] Option A: You talk, we listen, no pain. Option B: You don't talk, I remove your thumbs with my pliers, it will hurt. Option C: I like to vary the details a bit but the punchline is... you die.
Benjamin: [while being interrogated and tortured by John Smith] Can I have a soda or a juice or...
Benjamin: [Jane hits him with the telephone] A! A! Option A! Ow, that hurt.
John Smith: Ok, that was a nice shot.
John Smith: I never went to MIT. Notre Dame. Art history major.
Jane Smith: Art?
John Smith: History! It's reputable.
John Smith: [to Jane, while pursued by hit men in three black BMW'S] It's called evasive driving, sweetheart!
[both have discovered that they were on the desert and one tried to kill the other]
John Smith: I missed you.
Jane Smith: I missed you too.
John Smith: [they stop dancing, after his wife checks his crotch for a weapon] That's all John, sweetheart.
Jane Smith: [over a speakerphone] you really expect me to roll over and play dead?
John Smith: [over the Bluetooth headset phone] Well, you should be used to it after five years of marriage.
Jane Smith: Six... and I'm not leaving.
