Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced.
Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself?
Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.
Victor Melling: This woman has no talent!
Eric Matthews: Geez Vic! You don't gotta shout it out in front of her!
[arguing about Gracie's contract on providing a talent]
Eric Matthews: Listen to me, you old fruitcake!
Victor Melling: How dare you, you cupcake!
Gracie Hart: Oh my gosh, it's the crown!
Victor Melling: Yes, it is! You can taste it now, can't you?
[Gracie is taken to the stage, wildly pointing at her head while she stutters about the crown]
Victor Melling: Yes, yes. You *wear* the crown, *be* the crown, you *are* the crown!
Victor Melling: [during a makeover session] Eyebrows. There should be two.
Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas, everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Stan Fields: I don't have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers.
Victor Melling: I'm sorry, what was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.
[Gracie pulls earpiece out of her ear]
Eric Matthews: Wo wo wo. Wait a minute, what are you doing? Put that back in your ear.
Gracie Hart: I can't talk girl talk with a guy in my head! I can't even do it with me in my head!
Eric Matthews: Maybe we could have dinner, you know?
Gracie Hart: What? You, like, asking me on a date?
Eric Matthews: No! Just casual dinner... If we happen to have sex afterwards so be it!
[after Eric pulls Gracie into the pool]
Gracie Hart: Oh, Vic's gonna kill you. You in big trouble.
Eric Matthews: You look good wet.
Gracie Hart: Shut up!
Eric Matthews: You took your earpiece out! Vic needs you, now!
Gracie Hart: Eric, I haven't slept in two days!
Eric Matthews: I'll give you a cookie.
Gracie Hart: [mumbling to herself] It better be a big one.
Gracie Hart: I would so love to hurt you right now.
Victor Melling: As long as you smile.
Gracie Hart: Good evening, I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you, but, uh, some of the girls got dehydrated.
Stan Fields: Prepare for what promises to be a day of astounding musical, theatrical, and dancing talent. And after I'm finished you can see the ladies!
Gracie Hart: In Hawaii, don't they use aloha for, like, hello and goodbye?
Gracie Hart: So?
Gracie Hart: So if you're on the phone with somebody and they won't stop talking, how do you get them? You say, 'Okay take care, aloha' don't they just start over again?
[to models refusing pizza and beer]
Gracie Hart: It's lite beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway.
Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you.
Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there!
