You always pass failure on your way to success.
All I want is to live a peaceful life, to regain my life and be happy.
I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
There are people who think they know everything about everything. What they don't know is that every moment is a learning moment.
Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.
My money was stolen from me. I was eventually stripped of the ability to make even the most basic decisions... my daily life became unbearable.
To those seniors, and especially elderly veterans like myself, I want to tell you this: You are not alone, and you having nothing to be ashamed of. If elder abuse happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I want you to know that you deserve better.
Sometimes the transition from being in control of your life to having absolutely no control is swift, but other times it is so gradual that you wonder exactly when it truly began.
The audience and I are friends. They allowed me to grow up with them. I've let them down several times. They've let me down several times. But we're all family.
I came from a poor family. My father was from Glasgow, Scotland; my mother's brothers were brakemen on the railroad. We didn't have anything but mush for breakfast.
Everything is about looking for happiness and God. That was a sentiment shared by my dear friend Ronald Reagan.
You've got to recognize, there will never be another you. It has nothing to do with ego; it happens to be the truth. There will never be another person the same. There'll never be another you.
I tried to make up for being 5 ft. 3 in. by affecting a strut and adopting the voice of a much bigger man... dating tall, beautiful women... But nothing I could do, after Ava had left me, would add a single inch to my height.
I didn't want to be short. I've tried to pretend that being a short guy didn't matter. I tried to make up for being short by affecting a strut, by adopting the voice of a much bigger man, by spending more money than I made, by tipping double or triple at bars and restaurants, by dating tall, beautiful women.
Ray Pearson, played for UCLA. He's a friend of mine.
God bless the universe, God bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, all of them, and let's have peace.
Change is an opportunity for everybody to think.
I was about six years old when I did 'Orchids and Ermine.' They dressed me in a suit, put a mustache under my nose, a cigar in my mouth, a cane in my hand, and a hat on my head.
