Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Quotes

Peter Quill: I told Gamora how when I was a kid I used to pretend David Hasselhoff was my dad. He's a singer and actor from Earth, really famous guy. Earlier, it struck me... Yondu didn't have a talking car, but he did have a flying arrow. He didn't have the beautiful voice of an angel, but he did have the whistle of one. Both Yondu and David Hasselhoff went on kick-ass adventures

and hooked up with hot women, and fought robots... I guess David Hasselhoff did kind of end up being my dad after all. Only it was you, Yondu.
[tearing up]
Peter Quill: I had a pretty cool dad. What I'm trying to say here is... sometimes that *thing* you're searching for your whole life... is right there by your side all along. And you don't even know it.

Drax: How did you get to this weird dumb planet?
Mantis: Ego found me in my larva state. Orphaned on my home world. He raised me by hand, and kept me as his own.
Drax: So you're a pet.
Mantis: I suppose.
Drax: People usually want cute pets. Why would Ego want such a hideous one?

Mantis: I am hideous?
Drax: You are horrifying to look at. Yes. Bu-But that's a good thing.
Mantis: Oh?
Drax: When you're ugly, and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are... Beautiful people never know who to trust.
Mantis: Well, then I'm certainly grateful to be

ugly.

Rocket: [snickering] I'm sorry. I am so sorry! I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, sir, looking in the mirror and then in all seriousness saying to yourself...
[deep voice]
Rocket: "You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface!"
[all the Ravagers struggle desperately not to laugh]
Rocket:

That's how I hear you in my head! What was your second choice? "Scrotum Hat"?
[Rocket and the Ravagers all fall apart laughing]

Rocket: Do you know why I did it, Star-Munch? Hmm?
Peter Quill: I'm not gonna answer to "Star-Munch."
Rocket: I did it because I wanted to!
Peter Quill: Dick.
Rocket: What are we even talking about this for? We just had a little man save us by blowing up fifty ships!

Drax: How little?
Rocket: [holding his thumb and forefinger close together] Well, I don't know, like this?
Gamora: [skeptically] A little one-inch man saved us?
Rocket: Well, if he got closer, I'm sure he would be much larger.
Peter Quill: It's how eyesight works, you stupid raccoon.

Rocket: *Don't call me a racoon*!
Peter Quill: I'm sorry. I took it too far. I meant trash panda.
[Rocket looks around in confusion]
Rocket: Is that better?
Drax: I don't know.
Peter Quill: [snickering] It's worse. It's so much worse.

Drax: The beast's hide is too thick to be pierced from the outside. I must cut through it from the inside.
Gamora: Huh?... No, no! Drax, wait a minute! *Drax*!
[Drax charges at the monster, and leaps down its throat]
Peter Quill: [horrified] What is he doing?
Gamora: He said the skin is too thick to be

pierced on the outside. So he...
Peter Quill: But, that doesn't make any sense!
Gamora: I tried telling him that!
Peter Quill: Skin is the same level of thickness from the inside as from the outside!
Gamora: I *realize* that.

Peter Quill: You said you loved my mother.
Ego: And that I did. My river lily who knew all the words to every song that came over the radio. I returned to Earth to see her three times. And I knew if I returned a fourth, well, I'd... I'd never leave. The Expansion... the reason for my very existence would be over. So, I did what I had to do. But... it broke

my heart to put that tumor in her head.
Peter Quill: What?
Ego: Now, now, all right, I know that sounds bad...
[Peter continuously shoots Ego with his Quad Blasters]
Ego: [reforming] Who... in the *hell*... do you think you are?
Peter Quill: *You killed my mother*!
Ego: I

tried *so hard* to find the form...
The Form of David Hasselhoff: [changes form to David Hasselhoff] ... that best *suited you*... and this is the thanks I get?
Ego: [changes back] You really need to *grow up*.
[Ego pierces Quill with a beam of energy]
Ego: I wanted to do this together... but I suppose you'll have to

learn by spending the next thousand years as a *battery*!