Garden State
Garden State

Karl Benson: I should get your number.

Garden State
Garden State

Singer: [from trailer] There's beauty in the breakdown.

Garden State
Garden State

Titembay: Someone has been pissing on my Gamecube and I'm about to close the case.

Garden State
Garden State

Kenny: People really listen to you, you know? I mean...
[suddenly pulls out gun]
Kenny: they HAVE to!

Garden State
Garden State

Kenny: Plus, the benefits are great, you know? If I get shot on the job, I'm like... *MMM*... rich!

Garden State
Garden State

Gideon Largeman: I'm sure you can find lots of things in your life that you can be angry about but what I do not understand is why you're so angry with me. All I ever wanted for everyone to be happy again. That's all I ever wanted.
Andrew Largeman: When were we all ever happy, dad? When? You always say that. When was that, when was that? When was this time

that you have in your mind when we were all so happy? Because I don't have it in my memory. Maybe if I did, I could help steer us back there but I just- Look, you and I need to work on being okay if that's not in the cards for us.
Gideon Largeman: Well, we might have a shot at it if you can forgive yourself for what you did.
Andrew Largeman: What I

did
[scoffs]
Andrew Largeman: . What I did. Okay, let's do it. Okay, we're here, right. Let's do it. I'm going to forgive myself for what I did. Are you ready? I was a little boy and somebody made a shitty latch. That's what I think. That's what I think about the whole thing, okay? And I'm not going to take those drugs anymore because they left me completely fucking

numb. I have felt so fucking numb to everything I've experienced in my life, okay? And for that... For that, I'm here to forgive you. You've always said all you wanted was for us to have whatever it is we wanted, right? Well, maybe what mom wanted more than anything was for it all to be over. And for me, what I want more than anything in the world, is for it to be okay with you for me to feel

something again; even if it's pain.
Gideon Largeman: You're going against your doctor's recommendation. That's a pretty wicked experiment to take on, don't you think?
Andrew Largeman: This is my life, dad. This is it. I spent 26 years waiting for something else to start, so no, no, I don't think it's too much to take on because it's everything there

is. I see now it's all there is. You and I are going to be okay, you know that right? We may not be as happy as you always dreamed we would be but... for the first time, let's just allow to be whatever it is that we are. And that'll be better, okay? I think that'll be better.

Garden State
Garden State

Andrew Largeman: You're the alligator?

Garden State
Garden State

Gideon Largeman: And besides that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?

Garden State
Garden State

Albert: [about the rickety old boathouse] Unfortunately, if this is the apocalypse, I'm not entirely sure it still floats.

Garden State
Garden State

Diego: Does it come with balloons?
Mark: What am I, a birthday clown? NO! It doesn't come with balloons. Suck it off the tap!

Garden State
Garden State

Kenny: Your mom just died!

Garden State
Garden State

Gideon Largeman: [on Andrew's answering machine] Andrew, this is your father. Hello? Look, you don't call me back, so I don't know how to do this. If you're not gonna return my calls then there's no way for us to communicate...
[breaks down]
Gideon Largeman: Look, I don't know how to do this but you're gonna need to come home now. Last night... Your

mother died last night, Andrew. She drowned. Last night she drowned in the bath.

Garden State
Garden State

Olivia: Honey, I asked you to get the metal wheel out of the hamster cage.
Sam: [gasps] I forgot!
Olivia: [holding up a dead hamster] Well, you forgot and now Jelly's dead. Luckily I got Peanut Butter out in time.
[to Andrew]
Olivia: We have to get the only hamsters on planet Earth who can't figure out

a stupid hamster wheel.
[to Sam]
Olivia: There is a tin box on the kitchen counter. You can do the honors.

Garden State
Garden State

Andrew Largeman: Dude, we've been patient all day but it's my last day in town and you haven't told us what we're doing. I mean, if you had told me we'd be going on a six-hour scavenger hunt for blow I would've passed.
Mark: Come on, please. If I was going to get you coke we would've gone to the fucking high school football practice. We would've been

rolling five hours ago.

Garden State
Garden State

Titembay: Peace out, playa!

Garden State
Garden State

Sam: It's not that we're bad pet owners or anything, it's just, you know, we've had so many of them over the years. Besides, a lot of these are fish.

Garden State
Garden State

Andrew Largeman: They sent me away to boarding school. Sent me away makes it sound like they sent me to an asylum. There were no straps involved.

Garden State
Garden State

Andrew Largeman: But Kenny, the last time I saw you, you were doing coke lines off a urinal.
Kenny: I know, I know, man... but it was time for me to grow up, you know? Plus, I wasn't making shit at that fish market. No one knew who I was, I couldn't get laid. Yeah, it's a much better situation for me now.

Garden State
Garden State

Dr. Cohen: Of course you're all right. You're alive.

Garden State
Garden State

[Largeman flounders in the pool]
Jesse: Dude, maybe you should stay over by the steps. I don't know CPR.
Mark: You look like a wet beaver.