The Home Office is a vast department where business as usual means that something is going wrong and, given the nature of the business, the disasters rarely lack a high profile.
My detractors, who delight in using my name as a byword for unattractiveness, will find it hard to believe, but looking in the mirror is a pleasant experience.
I am so used to seeing a blond in the mirror that I forget that for most of my life I was very dark. Old photos are still a bit of a shock.
Usually my Easter reading consists of 'Who Moved the Stone?,' which gets dusted off annually and read, often in one sitting, to remind me of the miracle of redemption, resurrection and life after death.
I shall not miss the hectoring and backbiting and the lack of generosity towards fallen foes, but I will miss the sheer clubability of parliament. If one fancies a coffee or a meal or a drink then it is always possible to find at least one person out of 646 whose company is congenial.
One of my best moments was getting a constituent out of jail in Morocco, by which of course I mean I got him released not that I sprung him.
It is a fundamental principle of democracy that citizens obey the law or incur whatever penalty applies to its breaking.
I have always believed prison can be very, very good for you but not by the act of deprivation of liberty alone. There has to be more to life inside than that.
Unfortunately, if the man who leaves the prison gates is just as likely or - as is sometimes grievously the case - more likely to offend as he was when he entered them, then we fail not only the individual but public safety as well.
The regime in too many prisons is one of idleness, and locking up someone from such a background in idleness virtually guarantees re-offending. Instead there needs to be a full day's work every weekday in either the workshops or the education department or preferably a mixture of both.
It is a huge asset to law and order that serious or persistent criminals should be taken out of the society on which they prey. It makes life safer for the law-abiding and on the whole prisons are pretty good at containing those who have been committed to them.
I do not mind if a PM or leader of the opposition is single but if he or she chooses to dispense with marriage despite living with someone and having children, then I think that shows a contempt for marriage which sends an unfortunate message.
Having served as a member of parliament for more than two decades, I'm well aware that there can be genuine constraints that affect the speed at which certain issues progress.
Our knowledge of animals and their behaviour has come a long way. We can no longer justify imprisoning them, robbing them of everything that is natural and important to them and turning them into objects of ridicule for our amusement.
I was still in parliament when the Labour government passed the Freedom of Information Act. As the then shadow home secretary I queried whether in some areas it did enough to open up the work of government to public scrutiny.
Happiness is best defined by its antonym, which is less 'unhappiness' than 'anxiety.' Anyone who is not oppressed by intolerable worry or grievous pain is almost certainly happy, whether rich or poor, well or ill, successful or frustrated.
For most of my political life I was not ecstatic but I was happy because I had huge confidence in the causes I espoused and the work I was doing. Even under extreme pressure I was satisfied that I was fighting a good fight.
There is nothing like a long, breezy walk on Dartmoor to make me feel I have arrived in heaven. The beauty of creation is all around and I feel closer to the creator Himself.
Satisfaction is a major player in the happiness stakes.
An MP is an MP whether male or female.
