You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
I'm a comedian, not a politician.
Honestly, I've always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed - that kind of stuff.
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
I'd never hurt another person.
Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
