twenty-two Quotes

Peter B. Parker: All right, people, let's do this one last time. My name is Peter B. Parker. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for the last twenty-two years I thought I was the one and only Spider-Man. I'm pretty sure you know the rest. You see, I saved the city, fell in love, I got married, saved the city some more, maybe too much, my marriage got testy, made some dicey

money choices - don't invest in a Spider-themed restaurant. Then like fifteen years passed, blah blah blah super boring, I broke my back, a drone flew into my face, I buried Aunt May, my wife and I split up. But I handled it like a champion.
[cut to Peter crying on the floor of the shower in his spider-suit]
Peter B. Parker: 'Cause you know what? No matter how many

times I get hit, I always get back up. And I got a lot of time to reflect and work on myself. Did you know that seahorses that they mate for life? Could you imagine a seahorse seeing another seahorse and then making it work? She wanted kids and it scared me. I'm pretty sure I broke her heart. Flash forward, I'm in my apartment doing pushups, doing ab crunches, getting strong -
[he is

actually lying on the floor eating pizza]
Peter B. Parker: - when this weird thing happened. And I gotta say, weird things happen to me a lot. But this was *real* weird. You see, I was in New York, but... things were different. Also I was dead. And blonde. I was kind of... perfect. It was like looking in a mirror. I have a feeling the thing that brought me here was the

thing that got him killed. You wanna know what happened next?
[beat]
Peter B. Parker: Me, too.

Max: [During the song about Kellerman's, just before it's interrupted by Johnny Castle] You and me, Tito. We've seen it all, eh? Bubbah and Zeda serving the first pasteurized milk to the boarders. Through the war years, when we didn't have any meat. Through the Depression, when we didn't have anything. Lots of changes, though, Max. It's not the changes so much this time. It's that

it all seems to be ending. You think kids want to come with their parents and take fox-trot lessons? Trips to Europe, that's what the kids want. Twenty-two countries in three days. It feels like it's all slipping away.

Czech Major: [With Ahab and Silent Night closing in on Prague] Our surveillance puts Ahab 22 minutes outside of Prague.
Toby Lee Shavers: We should evacuate the city, sir.
Gibbons: Twenty-two minutes to evacuate 1.5 million people? You better call in some air support. We may need to blow this thing out of the water.

Toby Lee Shavers: Sir, if we hit that thing...
Gibbons: Then this city will die, and the crisis will be contained! One city's better than 10.
Czech Major: There's another thing; There' a blue GTO traveling parallel to Ahab.

Rex: I used to sleep on a lamb's wool beanbag next to an electric space heater. That's my territory, I'm an *indoor* dog.
King: I starred in twenty-two consecutive Doggy Chow commercials. Look at me now, I couldn't land an audition.
Boss: I was the lead mascot for an undefeated high school baseball team.
[sneezes]

Boss: I lost all my spirit, I'm depressing.
Duke: I only ask for what I've always had, a balanced diet, regular grooming, and a general physical once a year.
Rex: I think I might give up.
Duke: What, right now?
Rex: Right now.
[turns around]
Rex: There's

no future on Trash Island.
Duke: [sneezes, then turns to Boss and King] You heard the rumor, right? About Buster?
[All the four dogs murmur]
Boss: Who's Buster?
Duke: Uh, my brother from another litter.
King: What happened to him?
Duke: Suicide. Hanged himself by his own

leash.
Boss: Aw, boy...
Rex: I want my master.
Chief: [scoffs in disgust] You make me sick.
[vomits off to the side and walks up to the four dogs]
Chief: I've seen cats with more balls than you dogs.
[shouts at Duke]
Chief: STOP LICKING YOUR WOUNDS!
[Duke

looks around awkwardly with his tongue out. Chief walks up to Boss]
Chief: You hungry? Kill something and eat it.
[walks up to Duke]
Chief: You sick? Take a long nap.
[walks up to King]
Chief: You cold? Dig a hole in the ground, crawl into it, and bury yourself.
[walks up to Rex]

Chief: But nobody's giving up around here, and don't you forget it, ever. You're Rex. You're King. You're Duke! You're Boss! I'm Chief. We're a pack of scary indestructible alpha dogs. You're talking like a bunch of housebroken... pets.
Rex: You don't understand. Uh, how could you, I mean you're a...
Chief: Go ahead say it. I'm a

stray, yeah.

Eric Dale: Do you know I built a bridge once?
Will Emerson: Sorry?
Eric Dale: A bridge.
Will Emerson: No, I didn't know that.
Eric Dale: I was an engineer by trade.
Will Emerson: Hmmm... hmmm
Eric Dale: It went from Dilles Bottom, Ohio to

Moundsville, West Virginia. It spanned nine hundred and twelve feet above the Ohio River. Twelve thousand people used this thing a day. And it cut out thirty-five miles of driving each way between Wheeling and New Martinsville. That's a combined 847,000 miles of driving a day. Or 25,410,000 miles a month. And 304,920,000 miles a year. Saved. Now I completed that project in 1986, that's twenty-two

years ago. So over the life of that one bridge, that's 6,708,240,000 miles that haven't had to be driven. At, what, let's say fifty miles an hour. So that's, what, 134,165,800 hours, or 559,020 days. So that one little bridge has saved the people of those communities a combined 1,531 years of their lives not wasted in a fucking car. One thousand five hundred and thirty-one years.