Americans want to democratise us. OK, but why not go and democratise Saudi Arabia. Are we anything like Saudi Arabia? No, we are far from that. So why aren't they democratising Saudi Arabia? Because they are bastards, but they are their bastards.
My junior year, I went to an LSAT-prep course. I flipped over my test and thought, 'You bastards.' I walked out and went to Waffle House. That's where I had what I call 'The Waffle House Epiphany': I didn't want to be a lawyer. I wanted to make a dent in the universe.
I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands.
I decided there and then to sue the bastards.
Why is it there are so many nice guys interested in baseball? Not me, I was a real bastard when I played.
Being a cheap bastard now means so much more freedom and choices later.
They've got us surrounded again, the poor bastards.
Theatre is a bastard form. I'm always proud of that. That's what makes it taste of life.
I'd always tended to regard song lyrics as sort of a bastard medium because they're subjugated under the music. If you were to regard them as poetry, it would be bad, embarrassing, confessional poetry - a lot of the lyrics I love.
I'm actually an evil bastard in real life. Fark allows me to vent weirdness. Thank god for that, too.
