Some guys, first pitch of the at-bat gets called a strike - maybe it's a ball off or below their knees, and it gets called a strike - and then the next two pitches, they swing at balls in the dirt, and all of a sudden, they're yelling at the umpire about that first pitch. You just swung at two balls in the dirt, buddy.
When I was a teenager, I was an umpire for a competitive league for 8- to 9-year-olds. I was really bad at it because I didn't know all the rules, and all these kids were better athletes than me. I made a bad call, and this dad snapped on me. Then he dumped his trash from his cooler, and I had to kick him out of the stands.
There are umpires, and there are those who hold the title.
Anyone who votes for McGowan is 100 percent right. He was a great umpire. He belongs in the Hall of Fame.
The only thing I'd say about Darrell Hair is that he is a very good umpire. He's very firm and he obviously sticks to his guns. I wouldn't have any qualms about him coming back into Test cricket.
Stay in school kids or you'll end up being an umpire.
Do you have to be like a second-grade dropout to be an umpire? Did you go to school until you were 8 years old? I think you quit school before you were 10. Stay in school kids or you'll end up being an umpire.
Stay in college, kids. Otherwise, you may become an umpire.
I didn't mean to hit the umpire with the dirt, but I did mean to hit that bastard in the stands.
The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
