Did you hear the one about the elderly Jew on his deathbed who sent for a priest, after declaring to his astonished relatives that 'I want to convert.' Asked why he would become a Catholic, after living all his life as a Jew, he answered: 'Better one of them should die than one of us.'
He never admitted anything, even on his deathbed. He was a deluded liar. If it weren't for my father, I don't think I would be so open. So that's a huge blessing.
I'm what you call a deathbed Catholic.
I had a moment in the Library of Congress among the presidential papers. I opened a folder, and there was an envelope in it. The front of the envelope was facing the table, so I didn't know what was in it. I opened it and out spilled all this hair. I turned the envelop over and it says, 'Clipped from President Garfield's head on his deathbed.'
Everyone has golden years sparsely throughout their life, but good things happen and then good things disappear. But you’ll always have those good times, and when you’re on your deathbed you’ll be able to look back on those times when you were with the girl of your dreams.
No one ever said on their deathbed, 'Gee, I wish I had spent more time alone with my computer'.
That's how I hope to die: on my deathbed, watching 'Real Housewives of the Moon.'
What do most people say on their deathbed? They don't say, 'I wish I'd made more money.' What they say is, 'I wish I'd spent more time with my family and done more for society or my community.'
Let no man's deathbed be a futon.
You don't see too many atheists on the deathbed. They all start cramming then.
