Zack Brown: [suggesting porn titles] Fuckback Mountain!
Miriam Linky: [makes a face]
Zack Brown: Too soon?
Zack Brown: I'm a guy. You give me a two popsicle sticks and a rubber band and I'll find a way to fuck it like a filthy MacGyver!
Drunk Customer: [is waiting for his coffee, and notices Stacey's breasts] Oh. Hey.
Stacey: [awkwardly] Hey.
Brandon: I can't keep my hands off him, I'm so sorry.
Bobby Long: You've had one too many cosmos.
Brandon: You know although he does most of the eating in the sack if you know what I mean. In the sack and of the sack.
Roxanne: Don't ever get married. It sucks. You stop appreciating each other and you run out of shit to talk about after the first year.
[after the first night's shooting]
Zack: Hey, how'd it look?
Deacon: How do you think it looked? It looked like shit going into other shit - in focus.
Zack: [to Miri] What an artist. That was Kurosawa's motto I think, "Shit going into other shit".
Deacon: I'm gonna hatefuck the shit out of you, ref!
Zack: Dude.
Deacon: It's cool. He's my cousin.
Zack Brown: [to Brandon and Bobby] So, you guys suck each other's cocks, huh?
Brandon: Oh, like crazy.
Delaney: [to Mr. Surya] You Ben Kingsley looking motherfucker
Zack: You, my friend, are the lead role of Lubed Guy-Baller.
Delaney: Man, he's gonna be balling dudes? I thought you said this was boys on girls.
Lester: If I have to fuck a guy, okay, but I'd rather fuck a girl.
Delaney: What's wrong with you, boy?
Delaney: I love the movies.
Zack: Porn has gone mainstream now. It's like Coca Cola or Pepsi, with dicks in it.
Delaney: I just wanted to see some free titties, that's all. But there's no such thing as free titties, is there, Zack? Is there?
Delaney: I like that guy, but if he tries to fuck that little dog tonight for real, I'm calling Humane Society.
Mr. Surya: [Mr Surya yells at at Zack and Delaney] I hate the both of you ebony and ivory motherfuckers, I TELL YOU.
