The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Robbie: [Glenn offers him a drink after Jason insults him] No, I'm not a big drinker.
Glenn: Well I am, how about an "Alabama Slammer"?
Glenn's buddy: Sounds like a plan.
Robbie: Yeah, go ahead, have a few drinks and, you know, drive home.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Glenn: You better get out of my way, Billy, or you're gonna get hurt.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Robbie: [of a bare-bottomed baby held by a dancing mother] Hey, somebody get some pants on this kid!

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Rosie: [to Julia] : He wants to make money. You know - live in a nice house with wide windows and locks. You can't expect him to live forever with his sister and the nipple-twisting that goes on there.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

David 'Dave' Veltri: [drunk, as George the transvestite sings] Ooh, I like her.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Robbie: How did you know that Glenn was the right one?
Julia: The right one, ah... I always just envisioned the right one being someone I could see myself growing old with.
Robbie: Yeah.
Julia: And... Glenn would *be* a really good-looking older man. Like Blake Carrington.
Robbie: I'm

gonna probably look like Buddy Hackett.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Holly: Don't worry, I told him why you were marrying him.
Julia: Why did you tell him I was marrying him?
Holly: Because you love him.
[pause, Julia nods]
Holly: ...And because, with Glenn you'll have security.
Julia: But that's not why I'm marrying him.

Holly: Then why *are* you?

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Glenn: Who are you going out with?
Holly: Robbie.
Glenn: Oh good, that guy needs to get laid.
Holly: Excuse me! Just because he's going out with me doesn't mean he's going to get laid.
[Glenn and Julia look at her]
Holly: ... All right, he probably will.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Holly: [tosses a Rubik's Cube across the room] No one will ever solve that.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Robbie: Hey. I kissed her, but it didn't mean anything, I just brought her the jacket.
Glenn: Kissed who?
Holly: Oh, me.
Glenn: Who hasn't?

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Andy: [watering plants as Sammy pulls up] About time his best friend showed up.
Sammy: How is he?
Andy: I dunno, man. He just stays down in the basement since it happened... Five days now. I think he might be having some kind of mental situation, or something.
Sammy: I'll talk to him.

Sammy: [the camera follows him as he walks to the house, singing to himself]
Andy: [off camera] Hey, you better do something. I don't wanna be known as brother-in-law of the town nut job; I got enough problems already.
Andy: [sound of water splosing]
Andy: Oh, shit, I just got water all over myself.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Robbie: We're living in a material world and I am a material girl... or boy.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Kate: [ready to leave for a date] Come on, Andy! Move your ass!
Andy: Hang on, hon! I'm watching Dallas! I think J.R. might be dead or something - they shot him!

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Sammy: Hey, how do I look?
Robbie: I don't know, man. I would lose that glove. You look nuts.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Julia: You must be Linda.
Linda: Yeah, that's me, Robbie's fiance. Who are you?
Julia: I'm Julia Sullivan. Would you tell him that I came by to see him?
Linda: Oh yeah, surely will, Jennifer.
Julia: Hey, it's Julia -
[Door slams]

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Holly: Robbie, I have to talk to you!
Robbie: I can't talk right now.
Holly: Are you back with Linda?
Robbie: No! Why? Who said that?
Holly: Julia. She went to your house to tell you she was falling for you and Linda answered the door in her underwear! She was so upset, she and Glenn

just jumped a plane to Vegas.
Robbie: What do you mean? They're getting married tomorrow!
Holly: Apparently that wasn't soon enough.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Robbie: [to the boys at the Bar Mitzvah, of Julia] Who'd like to dance with this lovely young lady?
Grandpa at Bar Mitzvah: I'd like to do more than *dance* with her!
[he and his grandson do a high-five]

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

[first lines]
Robbie: All right, everybody out on the dance floor! No exceptions! Look at all the happy couples!

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Robbie: [Robbie notices Julia's fiancee is flirting with another woman across the room, so he tries to provoke him to talk] That is a luscious ass right there isn't it? Mmm. My God.
Glenn: That's Grade A top choice meat!
Robbie: I'd like to bite right through that thing, arg! You know, chew on it.
[Glenn starts laughing in

agreement]
Robbie: But we can't get chicks like that anymore. We're too old.
Glenn: Speak for yourself. I'm not too old. I can still get chicks like that.
Robbie: Not that hot though, right?
Glenn: Gotten hotter.
Robbie: Ten years ago!
Glenn: Try ten

*days* ago.
Robbie: Really... As hot as that?
Glenn: Hotter, and younger.
Robbie: How do you do it, man? I mean how do you do it without getting caught?
Glenn: Julia's totally preoccupied with the wedding. She doesn't know what's going on.
Robbie: Oh man. You know what sucks

though? Once you get married, the party's over, right?
Glenn: I work in the city, man. And I work long hours.

The Wedding Singer
The Wedding Singer

Airport Guy: Hey, do you like A Flock Of Seagulls?
Robbie: [sees the guys hair is just like the lead singer of A Flock Of Seagulls] I can see YOU do.