The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

[first lines]
Misty Mountains: How do you like my car, Big Boy?

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Jackson Healy: [at a porn producer's lavish party] Whoa. Well, we know Mary Jane turned up.
Holland March: Who's that?
Jackson Healy: Mary Jane. Marijuana. Pot.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Bourbon Bartender: Just chill here, you know. She's gotta come back down. Have a couple of cold ones on me?
Jackson Healy: Oh, not for me.
Holland March: He makes a strong argument, though.
Bourbon Bartender: You see? Reasonable. Very reasonable. Now, your buddy, that was the problem, he wasn't reasonable.

Jackson Healy: Our buddy?
Holland March: Yeah, we don't have friends.
Bourbon Bartender: The other guy looking for Amelia, he wasn't with you?
Jackson Healy: Where'd he go?
Bourbon Bartender: Got in the elevator right before you guys came in.
Jackson Healy:

Did you get a name?
Bourbon Bartender: John something.
Jackson Healy: Did you actually witness him getting into the elevator?
Bourbon Bartender: No, it was told to me by a wise old Indian. Of course I fucking witnessed it.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Pornookio: [laughing] It's not my nose that grows.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

[last lines]
Holland March: To the birds?
Jackson Healy: Hallelujah!

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Judith Kuttner: It sounds like you might have saved my daughter's life.
Jackson Healy: That was mostly Holly. His daughter.
Holland March: It's genetics.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Jackson Healy: The sun went up, the sun went down. Nothing changes, just like you said.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holly March: You're the world's worst detective.
Holland March: I'm the worst?
Holly March: Yeah!
Holland March: The "world's" worst?

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holland March: [a guest arrives at a lavish party in medieval costume and hands over the reins of his white horse dressed as a unicorn to a valet] Jesus tap-dancing Christ!

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holland March: Hey, aren't you that diner guy? Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. I gotta know.
Jackson Healy: I don't wanna get into it right now.
Holland March: You gotta get into it. I gotta know. You're the diner guy.
Jackson Healy: [sighs] Alright...
Holland March:

Yesss...
Jackson Healy: [in flashback] I was at a diner in Hollywood and this asshole with a shotgun started threatening people.
Holland March: [March is lying on his back on the diving board] I love it. It's the best story I've ever heard.
Jackson Healy: [In the flashback, Healy grabs the shotgun, and hits the guy in the face

with it] So I did something about it. I acted. I didn't plan to, I didn't, you know. I just did it. I took that guy out. I didn't even get paid for it. So I ended up with a bullet in the bicep and 500 bucks of hospital bills. It was stupid, really. When I think about it, it was the best day of my life.
Holland March: [March is asleep on the diving board, snoring] ...

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holland March: Look, they got away with it. Big surprise, you know? People are stupid. But they're not that stupid. The point is five years tops, we're all driving electric cars from Japan, anyway. Mark my words.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holly March: [with air of superiority] I'm friends with a cop, you know.
Jackson Healy: Is that so?
Holly March: He likes my dad a lot, too.
Jackson Healy: Maybe they should get married.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holland March: Holy fucking shit!
Mrs. Glenn: [horrified at the cursing] OOOHHH!

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Kid on Bike: No, his name was Sid... Sid Hatrack. Yeah.
Holland March: Nobody's name is Hatrack.
Kid on Bike: Whatever. Tried to get a job. I offered to show my dick. 'Cause I got a big dick.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Jackson Healy: [narrating] Sometimes I feel okay about things. Not often.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holland March: You know, the thing about keeping your mouth closed is it prevents you from speaking.
Jackson Healy: Sure. Unless, of course, you're a ventriloquist.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Jackson Healy: What do you think?
Holly March: I like her
Jessica: I like her dress
Holland March: It's a nice dress, but she's a loon. According to her, her mother's single handedly gonna wipe out all of Western society
Jackson Healy: Well yeah. However there are people trying to kill

her right, like John Boy
Holly March: Who's John Boy?
Jessica: He's on The Waltons
Jackson Healy: No a different John Boy

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

[repeated line]
Holland March: Jesus!

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Chet: Dean was a filmmaker. Kinda, like, experimental kindsa films. That's actually, like, kinda how we, we met, 'cause I'm kind of in the, in the business myself.
Jackson Healy: What do you do?
Chet: Projectionalist.

The Nice Guys
The Nice Guys

Holland March: Thanks, buddy.
Buddy: How'd you know my name was Buddy?