Holland March: Look on the bright side. Nobody got hurt.
Jackson Healy: People got hurt.
Holland March: I'm saying, I think they died quickly. So I don't think they got hurt.
Holland March: So you're telling me you made a porno where the plot is the point?
Holland March: I think I'm invincible. It's the only thing that makes sense. I don't think I can die.
Holland March: You know who else was just following orders? Adolf Hitler.
Holland March: Jesus Christ! One at a time!
Janet: [stunned] You took the Lord's name in vain.
Holland March: No I didn't, Janet. I found it very useful actually. Ok, Janet?
[In the midst of being shot at, Healy jumps through a window]
Jackson Healy: March! Gun! Gun!
[March tosses Healy a gun, which careens through the window next to the one Healy just jumped through]
Jackson Healy: Fuck!
Holland March: Shit!
Kid on Bike: You guys wanna see my dick?
Holland March: Nobody wants to see your dick, dude.
Kid on Bike: 20 bucks?
Holland March: We already paid you 20... what am I saying?
Holland March: What are you doing?
Holly March: I was giving you a rimjob.
Holland March: [horrified] Rimshot!... Rimshot.
Holly March: Dad, there's like whores here and stuff.
Holland March: Sweetheart, how many times have I told you? Don't say "and stuff". Just say "dad, there are whores here".
Holly March: Well, there's like a ton.
Holland March: Got a cool ad though. I made your head small because I know you're sensitive about how big it is.
Holland March: I was in the pool.
Jackson Healy: You were in the pool?
Holland March: Yeah.
Jackson Healy: Why?
Holland March: I had to question the mermaids. What were you doing while I was working?
Holland March: [to Holly] You're supposed to be at Jessica's.
Jessica: Yeah, sorry, Mr. March. My sister kicked us out. She's having a guy over.
Holland March: Your sister's such a slut.
Jessica: Yeah, I know.
[Repeated line]
Holland March: Fucking Chet.
Holly March: [Holly and March are inside their house while Healy is waiting outside] Why don't we invite him in?
Holland March: No animals in the house, sweetheart.
Mrs. Glenn: So does this mean my niece is dead?
Holland March: [impatient/annoyed] YES!
[the room is stunned as Mrs. Glenn clasps her mouth in horror]
Holland March: I mean, uh, yes I'm so sorry.
