Mr. Chow: Oh yeah? Why dont you suck on these little Chinese nuts?
[grabs his nuts with both hands]
Sid Garner: Don't let Alan drive, because there's something wrong with him.
Doug Billings: Understood.
Sid Garner: Oh, and Phil either. I don't like him.
Stu Price: I look like a nerdy hillbilly!
Stu Price: That's my grandma's ring. She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing. It's legit.
Phil Wenneck: Who was that guy? He was so mean!
Phil Wenneck: [drunk] Fuck this tiger!
Stu Price: You found the car?
Officer Franklin: Yeah! It was parked in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. with a note that said "Couldn't find a meter, so here's $4."
Officer Foltz: [giving kids a tour of the station] See kids, this is where we bring suspects in order to be detained. Trust me, you do not want to be sitting in these seats. We call this place "Loserville".
[shows Alan, Phil, and Stu, a fat kid comes and takes a picture of Alan with his cell phone]
Officer Garden: [to Phil, Stu, and Alan, after they are taken in for stealing a police car] Think you gon' get away with it? Not up in here!
Officer Franklin: [lividly] Not up in here!
Stu Price: I'll tell you another thing - 6 to 1 odds our car is beat to shit.
Phil Wenneck: Come on Stu.
Stu Price: No seriously how much you want to bet it's fucked up beyond all recognition?
Stu Price: We can even write you a check right now.
Mr. Chow: No chance. Cash only.
Stu Price: There's a person in there!
Mr. Chow: You wanna fuck on me?
[first lines]
Doug Billings: [on recording] Hey, you've reached Doug. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a name and number and I'll get back to you.
Mr. Chow: Not so good now. Quid pro quo, douchebag.
Alan Garner: He seemed like a real straight shooter.
Stu Price: They are mature, you just have to get to know them better...
