That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Red Forman: What are you going to put on your resume - dumbass?

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Donna: Kelso, I'm gonna miss you trying to grab my boob... it makes me feel pretty. God, I'm sad.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Kelso: Hi, I'd like an order of books, please.
Brooke: Could you be more specific?
Kelso: Could you be more beautiful?
Brooke: Could you be more lame?
Kelso: Yes.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Donna Pinciotti: [on the California beach] I miss Eric. That guy even looks like Eric.
[Double take]
Donna Pinciotti: Eric? Oh my God, Eric!
Eric: [Looking around Kelso's van, he turns sharp at Donna's voice] Donna!
[They run to each other in slow motion, Kelso tries to run along side Donna, but Donna pushes him down;

they stop short of each other, just staring deeply into each other's eyes for a long moment and then... Kelso tackles Donna, wrestling her to the ground. Incredulous]
Eric: Kelso, what the Hell are you doing?
Michael Kelso: Winning!
[Donna gets free, stands up and kicks Kelso in the side, then returns to looking at Eric]
Donna

Pinciotti: Eric... I can't believe you came for me.
Eric: Of course I did. Donna... Donna I love you. And I... I...
[he can't find the words]
Donna Pinciotti: [Steps forward and kisses him passionately]
Michael Kelso: You guys can smooch all you want, I totally won!
[walks off]

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Fez: I am so excited about Star Whores.
Steven Hyde: Fezzy, man... Star Wars.
Fez: Screw that.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Eric: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.
Red Forman: Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you? is because you're a dumbass.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Red Forman: Forman, party of two.
Restaurant Hostess: Okey dokey, that'll be about two hours.
Red Forman: Here's twenty bucks.
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we'll have something in fifteen minutes.
Red Forman: You don't want this place to burn down twice do you?
Restaurant Hostess: Okay we have something right now.


Red Forman: I thought so. Well, it looks like it's our lucky night.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

[Eric catches his parents having sex, and they find out]
Kitty Forman: Red, say something.
Red Forman: It's more fun than it looks.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Donna: If you keep stuffing your face like this your gonna get...
Jackie Burkhardt: Don't you dare say it, you bitch!
Donna: Fat!

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

[the guys are high in Eric's basement]
Steven Hyde: I read somewhere that people in India fast, man. And, that it makes them think better. And, sometimes they can actually think themselves to death, man.
Michael Kelso: I wonder if that's what I'm doing right now? Sometimes my brain is doing things that I don't even know about.

Eric: Man, we think of some great stuff down here. But, later on I can never remember it.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Pastor Dave: Ok, Laurie, let's see what you have.
Laurie Forman: [Laurie slowly puts three cards down one at a time while smiling and glaring at Dave]
Pastor Dave: Six... six... six... Oh, well thank you for the wonderful evening! I'll see you at church!

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Donna Pinciotti: You have the van. We want to go home.
Michael Kelso: Na-ah! I can't leave Annette. I love her.
Eric: No, you don't.
Michael Kelso: I love parts of her.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Red: [after Eric refused to be Donna's boyfriend again] Let me get this straight - Donna told you she wanted to get back together and you said NO?
Eric: I said no.
Red: What the Hell is wrong with you?
Kitty Forman: Dumbass!
[Red looks at Kitty in surprise]
Eric: Look, I have my

reasons, okay?
Red: What the Hell could they possibly be?
Eric: Casey dumps Donna and then Donna comes running back to ME? Look, I'm not a rebound, All right?
Red: You're too PROUD to take her back? What exactly do you have to be proud OF? You're not an athelete! The only thing smart about you is your mouth! And, well... look

at you!

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Steven Hyde: [admitting to Jackie, after years of saying that he hated her] I love you.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

[referring to Eric's failing grades]
Fez: Crack a book, you lazy son-of-a-bitch.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

[Jackie is beating up Laurie after one insult too many]
Donna Pinciotti: Whatever happened to Zen?
Steven Hyde: Where Zen ends, ass-kicking begins.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Eric: What happened between you two?
Fez: Suffice to say that it involved a crowded parking lot, a half off sale and a pair of pants that made my ass look like an oil painting.
Fenton: If you mean old and cracked, I agree.
Fez: I'll see you in hell!
Fenton: I'll be wearing your pants!


That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Kitty Forman: Why don't you try some of that forgiveness that Jesus talked so much about so much?

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Fez: Eric, what do you want to call it when you want to stick two pieces of wood together?
Eric: I think you'd call it "nailing", Fez. Just like Kelso nailed Hyde's sister.
Steven Hyde: How long have you two been planning that line out?
Eric: For about as long as it took Kelso to nail your sister.

That '70s Show
That '70s Show

Jackie Burkhardt: You're coming over to my house tonight. And we're gonna... "study".
Michael Kelso: Come on. I never get to do anything fun.
Steven Hyde: God, you're dumb.
Michael Kelso: Well I guess that's why I gotta go "STUDY".