Ted 2
Ted 2

Comic-Con Presenter: The new Superman is... Jonah Hill.
John: FUCK!

Ted 2
Ted 2

Shep Wild: Where did they get him?
[Ted]
John: [Mutters] Child-World Toy Store.
Shep Wild: I'm sorry I couldn't hear that, could you repeat that please?
John: Child-World Toy Store, you fuckin' heard me!

Ted 2
Ted 2

Ted: Right. You see the thing is, we don't wanna take any chances, because the stakes are so significant.
John: We can't rush into anything. We got to make sure we're making the right decision.
Ted: We really appreciate your time, but what we're probably gonna do is...
[Samantha takes a hit from bong]

Ted: just take a seat and get to work.
John: Trust you completely.
Ted: We really feel you got a lot to offer.
Samantha Jackson: Sorry you don't mind the pot,do you? I get migraines.
John: Oh absolutely. Me too.
Ted: That's fine. I'm gonna get a huge migraine in

the parking lot in about 20 minuets.

Ted 2
Ted 2

[Ted and John roam around the forest to pick up firewood when John notices a marijuana leaf]
John: What the hell?
[John sniffs the leaf]
John: Holy shit! Hey, Ted! You know what this is? It's Super Lemon Haze.
[Ted turns around and is amazed by what he sees while he walks towards John]
John: It's a really rare

strain. It's a cross between Lemon Skunk and Super Silver Haze. It's totally potent. I mean, I've only had it once in my life and it was one of the best highs I ever had. What the hell is a leaf of that stuff doing outin the middle of a...
[Ted grabs John's head and has him look to the right. John gets up and is astonished by the sight of marijuana crops in front of him]

John: Dear God! Dear God in heaven!
Ted: So beautiful!
[sobs]
Ted: It's so beautiful!
Samantha Jackson: No words. No words. They should've sent a poet.
Ted: They're moving in herds. They do move in herds.

Ted 2
Ted 2

Ted: [Unrated version, while listening to Electric Slide at the wedding afterparty] No! No! I said no Electric Slide!
[Throws wine bottle at DJ]
Ted: God dammit, you will not wreck this night with your forced white people group fun!

Ted 2
Ted 2

Ted: [to Patrick Meighan] I think I wanna sleep on a bed made of your voice.

Ted 2
Ted 2

Ted: So, listen, I got to ask. Was it just kissing last night? Or was there finger stuff?
[Samantha throws guitar at Ted]

Ted 2
Ted 2

[Sam J. Jones dresses as Flash Gordon sees that John and Samantha at Comic-Con]
Sam J. Jones: Hey, Bennett!
John: [looks at Flash Gordon] Oh, shit.
Sam J. Jones: You messed up my car! What the hell is wrong with you?
John: Look, Sam. This is really a bad time, all right? Something happened to Ted.

Sam J. Jones: Oh! But, it's a good time for you to vandalize my Chrysler though!
John: Hey, fuck your Chrysler!
[Sam Jones began to fighting John and all the people at Comic-Con]