She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: Speaking as a completely objective third party observer with absolutely no personal interest in the matter...

She's the Man
She's the Man

Andrew: Well hey there pretty lady.
Monique: Ew! What... what are you hitting on me?
Andrew: I was just...
Monique: [mimicking] "I was just... nyuh". OK, let me put a stop to that little brain fart right now. Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours

She's the Man
She's the Man

[after getting hit in the crotch with a soccer ball by Toby]
Viola: [as Sebastian] Oh. Right. OWW! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IT BURNS!

She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: ...and when I close my eyes, I see you for who you truly are, which is UUUG-LAY.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Toby: How come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me, but then Sebastian likes her and suddenly she's cool? Screw you guys. I hate high school.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Duke: It's just like what Coach says before every game: Be not afraid of greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. I think our best chance to be great here today, is to have you play.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: So, what brings you here?
Duke: Well, a few days ago I kissed this girl at a kissing booth. And now, I just can't seem to stop thinking about it.
Viola: Neither can she.
Duke: Plus, I miss my roommate. I really liked him.
Viola: Well, he's right in here.
[pointing to her

heart]
Viola: Listen, I know I should have told you who I was, but I was afraid. I'm sorry.
Duke: Well, you know maybe if I had known you were a girl, we wouldn't have talked like we did, and got to know each other the same way. And that would've been a shame.
Viola: Just so you know, everything you told me when I was a guy,

just made me like you so much more as a girl.
Duke: Ok, but just from here on in, everything would just be alot easier if you stayed a girl.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Sebastian: Folks, I'm a boy. I promise.
Malcolm: Prove it.
Sebastian: Okay.
[pulls down his soccer shorts, everyone sees his privates]
Roger: [His Dad in the audience] That's my boy.
Eunice: Soccer is the world's favorite sport.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Malcolm: I am convinced he's hiding something.
Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels.

Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I...
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...

She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: Okay, who's your daddy?
Duke: Huh?
Viola: I got her to consider you! You're half way in man!
Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don't want to freak her out, you've got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
Viola: [after Duke

looks away in frustration] Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why? You're hot!
Duke: What?
Viola: [clears throat] Ya know, you're an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.
Duke: Look, I don't know,

I just always say the wrong- I just always say the wrong thing.
Viola: OK. Alright, come on, get up. I wanna trying something where I'm gonna act like a girl and you're gonna talk to me, ok?
Duke: Ew. Do, do I have to?
Viola: Yes. Cause, "I'm Viola. Duke, nice to meet you."
Duke: OK, that was creepy.

You really just sounded like a girl just then.
Viola: I used to imitate my sister all the time. I got really good at it. Come on, get up. Ask me some questions and if the chemistry's right, things will just start flowin'.
Duke: Questions about what?
Viola: Anything. Ask me if I like... cheese.
Duke:

[laughing] Um, ok. Do you... like... cheese?
Viola: [Girl's voice] Why yes I do. My favourite's gouda.
Duke: I like gouda too?

She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: What does your heart tell you?
Duke: What?
Viola: I mean... which one would you rather see NAKED?

She's the Man
She's the Man

Justin: Could you be a girl for just 5 seconds
Viola: Ok... First of all it's not a stupid soccer issue and... you're a jerk. Oh look at that, times up.
[slaps him in the face]

She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: I just can't do this.
Paul: Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong but you know what I mean.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Principal Gold: [referring to Sebastian] He's probably halfway to China by now, I mean, he showed his "willis and doodleberries"...
Sebastian: Present!

She's the Man
She's the Man

[Viola shows her bare boobs to prove she's a girl and earlier Sebastian showed his privates to prove he's a boy]
Roger: Is it just me or this soccer game have more nudity than most?

She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: [screaming with Duke, after seeing Malcom's spider] You kill it! Your the man! Er... The... Bigger... Man!

She's the Man
She's the Man

Toby: [talking about Eunice] She's got a little somethin' somethin'.
Andrew: Yeah... asthma and headgear.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Sebastian: [indicating Viola's false sideburns] Are those real?
Viola: Oh yeah, I'm growing sideburns now- NO!

She's the Man
She's the Man

Viola: What are you talking about? Why are you lying?
Justin: Viola! End of discussion.
Viola: FINE. End of relationship.
Justin: Baby, don't be like that. I just don't want to see you get hurt.
Viola: Aww. You are so full of...
Coach Pistonek: [whistle blows]

Back to practice.

She's the Man
She's the Man

Duke: I gotta go change my feet.