It took me a good eight to ten years to really formulate what I was doing onstage and start to get really personal with comedy. I always really had timing naturally, it was just about trying to figure out how that timing was going to work onstage.
One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guy's wearing flip-flop sandals, which I don't understand. Men's feet are disgusting to begin with, but now they're on display when I try to go out for a nice steak at a restaurant, and I have to sit there and look at some guy's hoof? I don't get it. I don't understand it.
I remember when I was young, I was watching TV, and my father came into the room, agitated, and told me to start a business. I was eight years old.
Every heckler is unique because they say something, and you react to what they say or what they're wearing or who they're with, so every response to a heckle is unique.
Growing up in an Italian family, we used our body to convey a message.
Everybody seems to be wasting their time online. There is such a narcissistic attitude. It's such a strange world.
I once did a flip-flop joke in San Diego, and I got booed... but it's all in good fun.
I've never seen a weirder group of people than at the post office. It looks like people are crawling out from under rocks to go to the post office.
I'll never stop doing stand-up. There's nothing better than getting in front of 2,500 people and making an entire room laugh.
I grew up in an immigrant household with an Italian father who came to the U.S. when he was 15.
People come to a show, then they go back to their neighborhood, and it has become like word-of-mouth. Everybody loves to turn somebody on to something. It kind of just snowballed.
I do reflect on it sometimes, going, 'Wow, if I knew what I knew now I would be such a better server.'
I go to Vegas now, and I'm in the casino, and I'm gambling, and there's a guy in a wet bathing suit gambling right next to me.
I'm a very observational type of comedian that points out everyday absurdities.
We grew up in a middle-class family in Chicago. Even when we went on vacation as a family, it wasn't a really fun time, because my father didn't want to spend any money when we got there.
I don't like a lot of clutter.
My mother saw the magazine, and she was like, 'You made it.' I've been on Showtime and Comedy Central, but none of that matters - all that matter is that she sees me in 'People!'
I developed a knack for storytelling early on around the kitchen table with my family. I just happen to be a funny guy.
If I can relate to the joke, it's going to be funny.
I used to devour a lot of stand-up comedy in my cousin's basement. He had cable and I didn't, so I went there and saw all the comedians.
