Hanson: Ah, it's Cindy. Say "Helloo" to Cindy, Shorty.
Shorty Meeks: Helloo... Cindy.
[Cindy looks at the bottles on the table]
Cindy Campbell: Oh, God. Morphine, chloroform, horse tranquilizers! You drugged him!
Hanson: I did not! That's all his stuff!
Little Bird: [to the dead Alex] You are the weakest link! Goodbye.
Father McFeely: Hi, I'm Father McFeely.
Mrs. Voorhees: I'm so glad you're here.
Father McFeely: I came as fast as I could. But you know at my age the little soldier needs a lot more thumpin' before it starts pumpin'. I do find though, that if I tickle my asshole just before I unleash the dog of war...
Alex: Why won't you talk to me?
Hell House Ghost: Because you gave me crabs!
Shorty Meeks: Woooooh!
Cindy Campbell: Oh, Shorty!
Shorty Meeks: Cindy!
Cindy Campbell: There's a monster chasing me, what are we gonna do?
Shorty Meeks: Eeeh, eeh... I got it!
[Shoves Cindy out of the room and locks the door]
Hanson: All right, who's ready for a wing?
Dwight Hartman: Yours or the turkeys?
[backing into the room Cindy has just walked into]
Hanson: Ahh, watch, my fanny's coming through... watch it, make room for fanny...
Ray Wilkins: What do you think, tucked in, or out?
[reveals he's talking about his penis, which is tucked between his legs]
Buddy, Tommy: OH! OUT!
Father McFeely: [On the toilet] Lord, help me release this demon!
[farts]
Father McFeely: [relieved] Oh, thank you, Lord. Oh... wait.
Father McFeely: [farts again] Ahhh, ha-ha! Oh, those enchiladas!
Shorty Meeks: Toke! Toke! Take it to the head! Take it to the head!
Cindy Campbell: We're all gonna die!
Little Bird: Oh no, the rocket scientist! You're fucked!
Shorty Meeks: Yeah.
Shorty Meeks: [Rips out a page from his history book]
Shorty Meeks: Free papers.
Shorty Meeks: [laughs loudly and irritatingly and rolls a joint with the page]
Buddy: I heard Dwight tell the professor that there could be a poltergeist in the house and that we could all be in danger!
Shorty Meeks: Aww, naaaaw son! NOT A POLTERGEIST! What's a poltergeist?
Cindy Campbell: [after she punched Buddy] You gotta be quicker than that, pencil dick.
Alex: Why won't you talk to me?
Hell House Ghost: Because you gave me crabs.
Hanson: Hiawatha!
Shorty Meeks: Aww, we dealing wit a poltergeist!
Shorty Meeks: No. I need a place to stay. Momma Dukes kicked me out.
