Hartman Quotes

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Holy Jesus! What is that? What the fuck is that? WHAT IS THAT, PRIVATE PYLE?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: A jelly doughnut?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How did it get here?

Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: And why not, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you are a disgusting fat body, Private Pyle!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then why did you try to sneak a jelly

doughnut in your footlocker, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, because I was hungry, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Because you were hungry...
[turns and addresses rest of platoon]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle has dishonored himself and dishonored the platoon. I have tried to help him. But I have failed.

I have failed because YOU have not helped me. YOU people have not given Private Pyle the proper motivation! So, from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up, I will not punish him! I will punish all of YOU! And the way I see it ladies, you owe me for ONE JELLY DOUGHNUT! NOW GET ON YOUR FACES!
[rest of recruits get in front-leaning-rest position, Hartman turns to Pyle]
Gunnery

Sergeant Hartman: Open your mouth!
[shoves jelly doughnut into PYLE's mouth]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: They're payin' for it; YOU eat it! Ready! Exercise!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [calling out to platoon] Left shoulder, hut!
[Pyle accidentally puts his rifle on his right shoulder, then corrects quickly, but not before Hartman sees it. He walks up on him]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, I don't know,

sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: You are dumb, Private Pyle, but do you expect me to believe that you don't know left from right?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Then you did that on purpose! You wanna be different!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, no, sir!
Gunnery

Sergeant Hartman: [slaps Pyle hard on the left hand side of his face] What side was that, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, left side, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [shouts] Are you sure, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [slaps him hard again,

this time on right side of his face, knocking his hat off; shouts] What side was that, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: [nearly in tears] Sir, right side, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Don't fuck with me again, Pyle! Pick up your fuckin' cover!
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir, yes, sir!

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [as Joker checks and then holds up his rifle for inspection, Hartman takes the rifle and proceeds to inspect it] What's your sixth general order?
Private Joker: Sir! The private's sixth general order is to receive and to obey -- and to pass on to the sentry who relieves me -- all orders from the CO, from the OD, from any and all

other officers, and from NCOs of the guard! Sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE] What's this weapon's name, Private Joker?
Private Joker: [CUTTING-ROOM FLOOR-LINE] Sir! The private's weapon's name is the Bitch, sir!
[Hartman angrily passes back the rifle]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: [CUTTING-ROOM

FLOOR-LINE] You slimy piece of shit, that's no way to talk to your rifle! Now get on your face and give me 25!
Private Joker: Twenty-five! Yes, sir!
[while Joker executes the push-ups, Hartman approaches Pyle who holds up his own rifle]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How many counts in that movement you just executed?
Private Gomer

Pyle: [hard and firm tone] Sir! Four counts, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What's the idea of looking down in the chamber?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir! That is to guarantee that the private is not giving the inspecting officer a loaded weapon, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What's your fifth general order?

Private Gomer Pyle: Sir! The private's fifth general order is to quit my post only when properly relieved, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What's this weapon's name, Private Pyle?
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir! The private's weapon's name is Charlene, sir!
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle, you are definitely

born again hard! Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps.
Private Gomer Pyle: Sir! Yes, sir!

[Pvt. Joker is doing pull-ups. Hartman counts them off]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: One for the Commandant! One for the Corps! Come on Joker, pull! Pull!
[Pvt. Joker can't complete another pull-up]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I guess the Corps don't get theirs!
[Pvt. Joker moves on. Pvt. Pyle steps up to the bar]
Gunnery

Sergeant Hartman: Get up there, fat boy!
[Pvt. Pyle tries with all his might, but cannot do a single pull-up]
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Come on, Pyle! Pull! Pull! You mean to tell me you can't do one single pull up Pyle? You are a worthless piece of shit, Pyle! Get outta my face!