Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Dwight Hartman: Okay, thanks, "Handyman".
Hanson: I'm actually the caretaker. Oh, aren't those cool new skates? Now you be careful with those, you don't want to fall and break something.
Dwight Hartman: Oh, that's funny, that's real funny. Um, let me give you a "hand."
[starts clapping]
Hanson: Why,

that's awful kind of you. Why don't you give me a "standing ovation?"
Dwight Hartman: Why don't you "lift me up?"
Hanson: Ha, ok, I see where you're going with this one. You look familiar to me. Were you in "STOMP"?
Dwight Hartman: Hey you can kiss my grits!
Hanson: I think I'll be the bigger man, now,

and walk away. "Walk" away.

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Father McFeely: How is she?
Mrs. Voorhees: It's gotten worse Father. She won't eat. She won't talk. The child won't let me touch her.
Father McFeely: Yes, sometimes you have to give them candy.

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Cindy Campbell: Oh, my god, Brenda we're gonna die.
Brenda Meeks: IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN YOU IF YOU HAD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

[as Megan's head spins around]
Father McFeely: [turns to leave] Fuck this!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Ray Wilkins: Let's do something freaky...
Brenda Meeks: Like what, Ray?
Ray Wilkins: I don't know... why don't you talk dirty to me?
Brenda Meeks: I don't know what to say, Ray.
Ray Wilkins: C'mon, just make something up.
Brenda Meeks: Oh Ray, why do you make me

so bad?
Ray Wilkins: C'mon, 'cause you a bad girl.
Brenda Meeks: Okay... I'ma work this. I'ma make this mine!
Ray Wilkins: Yeah, work it. Ooh, it's all yours.
Brenda Meeks: I'ma piss on your face... and I'ma fart in your mouth,
[shouting]
Brenda Meeks: I'ma shit on these

walls, Ray!
[Ray looks disgusted]
Brenda Meeks: ...too dirty?

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Dwight Hartman: Heh-hey! Hey there little guy, how are you doing?
Little Bird: Fuck off, four eyes.
Dwight Hartman: H... h... I beg your pardon?
Little Bird: I said: "Fuck off... four eyes"
Dwight Hartman: You know, I oughta kick your ass!
Shorty Meeks: Hey! Hey,

hey, hey! Relax, son, it's just a bird. Hi little birdy... Polly want a cracker?
Little Bird: Polly want your momma's sweet ass.
Shorty Meeks: ...what did Polly say to me?
Little Bird: I said: "Polly wants your momma's... sweet ass".
Shorty Meeks: You don't be talking 'bout my momma son, you don't know

my momma son!
Little Bird: Yeah, I know your momma, I fucked her last night.
Shorty Meeks: You want beef? I'll fuck you up!
Little Bird: Ooooh! I'm shaking, I'm shaking.
Shorty Meeks: Aw no fuck this, I'm handling this shit like a gentleman, ya'll. Hold my tooth son.
Little Bird:

Yeah come on bitch, you and that Kotter's hairstyle wanna piece of me? Come on, bring it on!
Shorty Meeks: What you hardcore? Gimme somethin'!
Little Bird: Lemme outta here, come on pussy. Lemme outta here, I'll fuck you up!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Hanson: [laughs] My germs.

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Brenda Meeks: Cindy, this is a skeleton, this is bones! Would you run from Callista Flockheart?

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Dwight Hartman: Let's split up.
Brenda Meeks: Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh UH! Now wait a minute, hold up! How come when anytime this scary shit happens, and we should stick together, you white people always say "let's split up"?
Theo: She's right, we should stick together.
Dwight Hartman: She's right. Okay.

[pointing to Cindy, Buddy and Theo]
Dwight Hartman: You three, follow me!
[Brenda, Shorty and Ray are left alone]
Shorty Meeks: Ain't that a bitch.
[the three of them begin to cry]
Brenda Meeks: We gonna die, y'all.

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Ray Wilkins: [doing push-ups] 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... Brandon. 10... 9... Brandon. 10... 11... Brandon. Come on, count with me.
Clown Voice: [whispering] Hey, you. Come here. Heheheheh...
[Ray looks under the bed]
Clown Voice: Gotcha!
[the Clown doll pulls Ray in]
Clown

Voice: Come on! Let's play!
[there is a struggle and then a pause]
Clown Voice: Hey, what are you doing?
Ray Wilkins: [voice] Uncle Ray's got a game for you!
Clown Voice: Hey, get your finger out of there!
Ray Wilkins: Tickle, Tickle. Tickle.
[the Clown tries to run]

Ray Wilkins: You're running from Uncle Ray! Here's a balloon animal. Dada... dada... dada.
Clown Voice: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Cindy Campbell: [singing terribly along with the radio to Vitamin C and swerving all over the road] As we go on! We remember! All the time we! Spent To-geee-therrr! And as the time goes...
[suddenly the music comes to an abrupt stop]
Colleen Fitzpatrick: [voice] Hey! Will you shut the fuck up and let me sing?

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Buddy: Are you okay, Dwight?
Dwight Hartman: I can't... I can't feel my legs...
[pause]
Dwight Hartman: Aaahahaha! I can't feel my legs!
Ray Wilkins: You never could.
Dwight Hartman: Hey... you stay out of this, all right?

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Ghost Voice: Cindy! I want you to know to what happened to me... Look in the music room! Check the music room!
Cindy Campbell: Where are you?
Ghost Voice: Check the fucking music room!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Cindy Campbell: Moo motherfucker, moo!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Father McFeely: Let's pray.
Father Harris: Our father...
Megan Voorhees: Hahahhaahaha!
Father Harris: Shhhh... Stop it!
Megan Voorhees: Your mother sucks cocks in hell!
Father Harris: Oh shit...
Father McFeely: [Pulls out a gun] Suck on

this.
Megan Voorhees: Oh-oh.
[He shoots her]

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Exorcist Party Go-ers: [singing] Shake ya ass! Watch ya step! Shake ya ass! Show me what you working with!
Mrs. Voorhees: [singing] Attention, all you young players and pimps. Right now is the place to be.
Father Harris: [singing] I thought I told y'all niggas before, y'all niggas don't fuck with me.

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

[while exorcising Megan]
Father Harris: Holy Lord, Almighty Father, everlasting God and Father of our lord Jesus Christ, and the virgin Mary's baby daddy, holy Lord, Almighty Father, everlasting God, who once concerned that fallen tyrant to the flames of hell, who sent your only son in the world to crush that roaring tiger, and who got that unholy bitch Jerri kicked off of

Survivor!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Hanson: [while reaching out to Dwight who is hanging from the third floor window] Here! Take my hand!
Dwight Hartman: NO! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! Give me your OTHER hand!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Cindy Campbell: [while fighting the possessed cat] Help! My pussy's gone crazy!

Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 2

Cindy Campbell: You know, you really are my best friend, Cindy.
Cindy Campbell: Thanks, Brenda.
Buddy: Hey are you guys okay?
Brenda Meeks: Hell, yeah. It's gonna take more than a bag of bones to scare me.
Hell House Ghost: Wedgie!
Cindy Campbell: Oh my God!

Brenda, do something!
Brenda Meeks: Okay!
Hell House Ghost: [Brenda runs away]
Cindy Campbell: I thought I was your best friend?
Brenda Meeks: Was. I'ma miss you, girl!