Rick: I don't use colour to sort things because I'm not a mouse in a European Children's book.
Jerry: If anyone deserves to be telekinetically strangled, it's me.
Alien Therapist: Oh Dear God, no! THEY'RE CODEPENDANT!
Morty: Can you fly a Black Hawk?
Obama: Can the Pope's Dick fit through a Donut?
Morty: I'm not sure.
Obama: Exactly!
Dad: [Rick is loading a Corpse with Dynamite] Well, I can see you're busy...
Rick: It might eat brains and exhale Space AIDS!
The Devil: I'm going back to Hell where everyone thinks I'm Smart and Funny.
Rick: Every Hospital has a Doctor they say is the best Doctor in the Galaxy.
Morty: Save it for YouTube.
Morty: Lambs to the Cosmic Slaughter!
Little Man: Gentlemen, what did we agree on?
Little Men: No work-talk!
Giant Amoeba: Ha! That's why you never invite a Floopidoop and a Shmoopidoop to the same party!
Rick: The trick to incepting is making people think that they came up with the idea.
Gazorpazorpfield: I hate Mazumbazumpdays.
Mr Poopy Butthole: Oooh weee! Is this how I die?
Rick: Oh, what have we got here? A bunch of people with their faces stuffed in Computers? Don't you realise that Christ was born today? Don't you realise that Christ our Saviour was born today? WHAT KIND OF CHRISTMAS IS THIS?
Obnoxious rival: I throw balls far. You want good words, date a languager.
Rick: Or... Family means Nothing! But don't play that card.
Rick: [kills two hundred squirrels]
Rick: Still think it's a good idea to go through holes without a wiener?
