257 Rick and Morty Quotes (2026) #3

Rick and Morty

Mom: When we were locked in that freezer I realised that every guy I ever dated was like those Meeseeks. They'd say or do anything to... fulfill their purpose.
Dad: Was I like those guys?
Mom: Well, you didn't disappear afterwards.
Dad: I did get you pregnant.
Mom: Yeah...

Rick and Morty

Brad Anderson: Perhaps you should consider being a Creative. I'm haunted by uncontrollable thoughts of mutilation and sexual assault on a Daily Basis, but I channel it into my work.
Morty: Strange, I didn't get any sense of that from Marmaduke.
Brad Anderson: Well, did you get the sense I was trying to make you laugh?

Rick and Morty

Beth: I'm running out of excuses not to be who I am, so who am I?
Rick: You want my advice? Take off, put a saddle on your Universe, let it kick itself out.

Rick and Morty

Kyle: It's not much now, but once I learn to accelerate the Temporal Field I'll be able to interact with any Sentient Life that evolves and then introduce them to the wonders of Electricity via a Pulley-based Device I call a Bloobleyank. But what they won't know is...
Zeep: You'll be taking most of their energy, yeah, yeah I get it.
Rick: It's showtime.
Zeep:

You do realise this will make the Flooblecrank obsolete? This is wrong, Kyle! What you're doing is wrong! You're basically...
[Rick mimes along]
Zeep: This is slavery, you're talking about creating a Planet of Slaves.
Rick: Told you, Zeep.
Kyle: Oh, they won't be slaves, they'll work for each other, and pay each other money...
Zeep: That just

sounds like... slavery... with extra steps.
[Rounds on Rick]
Rick: What?
Zeep: Wait a minute, did you create my Universe? Is my Universe a Miniverse?
Rick: Microverse!
Kyle: I prefer teenyverse.
Zeep: [Flicks off Rick's antennae] You bastard!
[Rick takes Zeep's mask and they fight]
Zeep: Much obliged!

Kyle: What the Hell is happening?
Morty: Ah, this is Healthy, trust me.
Rick: You're my battery mother****** that's all you are! I made you! Your microverse sucks and your miniverse is the size of a ******* lobster tank! It's Wack!
Kyle: Are they not really Aliens?
Morty: Nah, they're just a couple of crazy, wacky

scientists. You know?
Kyle: So he made a Universe, and that guy is from that Universe, and that guy made a Universe, and that's the Universe where I was born? Where my Father died. Where I couldn't make time for his Funeral because I was working on my Universe?
Morty: Ha ha ha, yeah! Science huh? Ain't it a thing? You know one time Rick shot his laser pistol right

through my hand? I mean, you know, like Old Lady Science! You know, she's a real, you gotta hang on tight, you know, because she bucks pretty hard! Oh my God, no!
[Kyle drives his craft into a Cliff and it explodes]

Rick and Morty

Rick: There, would you even know that isn't Earth?
Morty: Well yeah, because there's no Africa!
Rick: White People Problems...

Rick and Morty

Dad: I'm intervening.
Mom: Intervening in Puberty? You'll turn him into Ralph Fiennes in Red Dragon!

Rick and Morty

Bird Person: My people have another saying: Gubbanubnub Dooraka. It means whatever lets you sleep at night.

Rick and Morty

Rick: Thanks, Mr Poopy Butthole. I always could count on you.

Rick and Morty

Rick: We killed a Vampire and a Gym Teacher! Talk about two for one, right?

Rick and Morty

Rick: Oh so we're supposed to sleep every night, now? Do you realise that nighttime is like half of all time?

Rick and Morty

Rick: Lick-lick-LICK MY BALLS!

Rick and Morty

Rick: What is the opposite of Wubba Lubba Dub Dub?

Rick and Morty

Voice Over: Today, on How they Do it: Plumbuses. First, they take the Dinglebop and they smooth it out with a bunch of shleem. The Shleem is then repurposed for later batches. They take the Dinglebop and they push it through the Grumbo. Where the Fleeb is rubbed against it. It's important that the Fleeb is rubbed because the Fleeb has all of the Fleeb juice. Then a Schlamie shows up and he rubs it

and spits on it. They cut the Fleeb, there are several hizzards in the way. The Blamphs rub against the Chumbles. And the Plubis and Grumbo are shaved away. That leaves you with a regular old Plumbus.
Rick: I always wondered how Plumbuses got made.

Rick and Morty

Beth: Ok, Tommy, I'm sorry you feel you're owed an apology. Oh, my God, I'm my Father.

Rick and Morty

Rick: Great, now I have to take over a whole Planet because of your Stupid Boobs!

Rick and Morty

Rick: [Zardoz Head appears] The plot thickens...

Rick and Morty

Jerry: I'm an idiot, and I love my son.

Rick and Morty

Abradolph Lincler: I kinda believe all men were created equal, but then...

Rick and Morty

Morty: This is proof that Mr Lunis is not who he says he is.
Principal Vagina: He's not a Guidance Counsellor?
Morty: I'm sure he's qualified to be one. Who isn't?